Dinner and a Funeral
It’s the beginning of June so guess what that means?
A new article at CWO!
Jump on over to read “Dinner and a Funeral” and remember – it’s not just for pastor’s wives! Are you a layperson who wants to know how to build a better relationship with your ministry families? Then this column is for you, too.
And of course, I’d love for you to come back here and leave me a note so we can discuss your thoughts.
Hope you are having a Happy Monday!
Hey, Lisa! My husband officially became a pastor yesterday… which also means that I have officially become a pastor’s wife! I just checked out your CWO article and found it funny and refreshing.
I will probably be checking your blog often! I have no clue what I’m doing. We don’t live in a parsonage, we have an inner city church (meaning it’s very small, low income), so I have already seen that I don’t relate to a lot of women here in that respect. I probably won’t have to attend a lot of funerals/weddings and in a way I’m a little bummed.
Anyway, thanks again for being candid and open! I’m so glad I found your blog!!!
Good Morning My Sweet Friend!
LOVED this article. As I was reading this I was thinking of the role of deacon or elders within the church. The way I see things is this way: the pastor is called to preach/teach the Word of God. Yes, I know weddings, funerals are included in this but I feel the church body expects more from a pastor than God ever intended. I believe the deacons/elders need to make sure the pastor’s time is protected, his family time protected. The deacon/elder can make hospital visits, home visits so the pastor can have extra hours with his family. What I am about to say next applies to all of us, we need to keep Jesus as our most intimate friend. Our best friend and let no pastor, or other take His place. Go to God with all our frustrations and concerns first, before we get mad at the pastor, before we get mad at the church or whatever. We are so quick to call the pastor before we talk to God. We are wearing each other out with expectations that we ourselves would not allow people to put on us. I guess I have said enough…:o)
Have a great Monday.
Love,
Patty
Well said…with grace and candor…
Lisa,
I love it!
Dinner and a funeral… and in reality… IF you get paid for doing the funeral… it helps with paying for the dinner.
Sometimes, we half the payment… if my husband has a new book he wants. And sometimes, it is what we use for a “date”!
Blessings to you!
DeeDee
Great article, Lisa!
Last night, our pastor (my dad) preached on Ephesians 4:11-13. He noted that a pastor’s main job is to equip the saints for good works — so the church folks are really the ones who are responsible for ministry! Of course, this is not a ploy to get pastors out of doing work (hospitals, funerals, etc.), but when Christians realize this, it empowers them to use the gifts God gives instead of waiting on the church staff to lead. And it might just take some weight off the church staff’s shoulders.
Loved your article, and I love how our church has focused on using pastoral care ministry and the Bible Study classes to minister to the church members. Then the staff members can rotate being on call for the “big” things.
Interestingly, our pastor relates that a woman who got the angriest at him for not making a hospital visit to see her (for a relatively minor illness) was also a Preacher’s Kid who hated her dad because he had never been around due to so many hospital visits. Go figure.
Great article. How’d ya get so wise being such a young un’?
Thanks for putting into words what so many need to hear.
Great article and I can definetly relate to the DINNER AND A FUNERAL. For the past two anniversaries …that has been the order. I loved all of the comments left and I would like to add one more…
Church Members respect the fact that your Pastor has a family and enjoys spending time with them as much as you do with yours. During the dinner hour or at 9 pm is not the time to call your Pastor to “chat”. Emergencies are one thing but to find out what time the dinner is going to be on Sunday can wait until office hours in the morning. I can’t tell you the times our family dinner has been interrupted for such calls and one time I remember we were one our way to a family movie when a call came in. My Pastor husband dropped us off at the movies and returned to the hospital for the “emergency” only to find out it wasn’t an emergency after all. (it amazes me some of the stuff people call their pastors about in the middle of the night) Sorry Pastors Wives – but it is part of the ministry call and you need to pray for patience and understanding. God will give it to you! -blessings, Laurie
Excellent article, Lisa! I grew up in the fishbowl as a Pastor’s Kid… and you’d think I’d have learned my lesson. I always said that church would never come before my family… and yet years later, I found myself involved in church ministry and sometimes putting it ahead of my children and family time. I’m learning (AGAIN) to say no. It’s ok to say no. We do NOT have to be at every church function, bbq, etc. Church family time is wonderful, but when it becomes a detriment to OUR family time… God has called me to give that the priority. Thanks for a helpful article!
Heather
Hey! I found your blog through a link on one of my friend’s blogs. My hubby is a worship pastor (Creative Arts Pastor, if you want to be technical…) and I couldn’t agree more with your article. Thankfully, my hubby and approached that subject before it even hit. I have seen too many pastor’s and their wives do WAY too much and lose themselves in the process. Some people may get mad or upset along the way, and he definitely works well over 40 hours per week, but overall, I couldn’t be more thankful for a husband that can stand up to others when it comes to that. Not to mention it’s a great witness to the other couples in our church who deal with the same issue of family and work.
I love your blog!
Great article! It breaks my heart when a I hear from a church member that their feelings were hurt because a pastor did not make it to their event/hospitol/etc. We (the staff) don’t always know when things happen, and we have over 15 pastors on staff. All the pastors can’t make it to everything, and still feelings get hurt.
I just told my husband when he commented that someone was “hurt” due to lack of a phone call/visit, that we just have to take care of the ones we know about and go from there.
Dinner and a Funeral…how true! I have often said that I grew up at weddings, funerals, and hospital waiting rooms as a PK! Great article, Lisa!