Survey: The Effect of Ministry on Its Marriages
**UPDATE: I’ve reposted this survey today because I’m afraid it may have gotten buried by the Garden Tour. This is good stuff…..Keep it coming!
Also, I have a really cool something I’ll be announcing later, so check back!
*********************************************************************
It’s time for another Married to the Ministry Survey! In case you haven’t noticed, there is now a tab on my navigation bar that holds the archives for all the previous surveys we’ve done. Whether you are a ministry wife or layperson, I hope you’ll use all the great insight there as a resource for building stronger relationships between the leadership and members of the Body of Christ.
Our topic today relates to ministry marriages.
We have already talked about how every wife is first and foremost called to support her husband no matter what his vocation. However, we agree that a different dynamic is in place for ministry families considering hubby is on call 24/7. It’s a gracious wife who gives her husband the freedom he needs to perform his duties without fear of her becoming bitter. However, even the most forgiving woman can finally get a belly full.
So let’s talk for a bit about the how ministry may sometimes adversely affect a marriage.
* Ministry Wives
1. How has the ministry negatively affected your marriage, if ever? In what ways has it strengthened it?
2. Do you and your husband ever experience strife that is directly tied to his vocation? Is there something your hubby does that makes you steaming mad? Does he ever take advantage of your graciousness? (We are not husband-bashing here so remember that when leaving comments :)
3. Have you ever argued with your hubby immediately before he was supposed to preach/teach/lead music and felt guilty later?
4. What part has the limited income of ministry played in your families’ stress?
5. I ask this with much compassion and sensitivity, but have the pressures of ministry been the root of any moral breakdown in your marriage? Please answer anonymously.
* Lay People
1. Do you perceive that any of your ministers’ wives make their husband’s job difficult?
2. Is she overall supportive or does she begrudge what is required of him?
3. Do you think your church demands have ever contributed to marital stress for your ministry families?
4. Have any of your ministry marriages ever been in serious distress? If so, what steps, if any did your church take to help?
As always, these questions are a sampling of many I’m sure could be asked. Don’t feel you have to answer every question, simply comment on what you’ve experienced. If you have a different perspective not presented here, please feel free to share it.
Thank you for all your input!
1. The negative affects ministry has had on our marriage is that at times, it’s all we talk about. Almost like we don’t talk about other stuff.
2. The only thing that bothers me about my husband when it comes to ministry is that sometimes he will call people he works with at all hours of the evening. I feel for them because although it doesn’t bother me that he is taking a little time away from our family, I don’t want another wife to be mad that he’s taking her husband away.
3. My husband and I used to lead worship together and we would often have a falling out before we hit the stage. Typical tactic of the enemy.
4. The pressures of ministry have not caused a moral failure in our marriage. However, my husband’s previous struggle with pornography did. I’ve blogged about this so it’s not a secret. If people read my blog, they usually know our story. A story of redemption, praise God.
I have had felt strained in our marriage by ministry needs. ESPECIALLY when we were associate pastors. Our church now is so protective of our family time,knowing its already difficult with three young children, that I have no complaints right now. It is a good situation. But, I know we are blessed. Could be under a great deal of pressure if our board were differently minded.
But, I have always felt like God had geared me to do most things by myself (baths, getting kids to things) and MOST of the time I never resent him. It takes alot for it to start getting to me. And usually, it bothers me that he has less time with the kids and not necessarily me.
What peeves me most (forgot to address this) is the phone. While he may be home in body, he is on the phone all the time at any given time and wometimes I just wish i could get him to cut off the phone. That is a big frustration.
My main frustration is how sensitive my husband GETS. We’re a small inner city church so he’s not “on call” 24/7 and we don’t really get visits.
But when people upset him is when I get upset. I usually take it out on him though!
I would like to echo Cassandra’s peeve about the phone. My husband is sometimes home in the evening but never off the phone (or the computer). Early on with the kids it was especially hard learning to set boundaries and get the help I needed at home. Now that we have settled into our role as parents it is a little easier to set some boundaries.
1. Do you perceive that any of your ministers’ wives make their husband’s job difficult?
Not at all
2. Is she overall supportive or does she begrudge what is required of him?
It’s seemed that she’s been overall supportive but still expects (rightfully so) family to come in at the top of his priorities.
3. Do you think your church demands have ever contributed to marital stress for your ministry families?
I can’t imagine how they haven’t.
4. Have any of your ministry marriages ever been in serious distress? If so, what steps, if any did your church take to help?
A church I belonged to a few years ago painfully watched their beloved pastor admit to an affair, with his wife standing by his side. He stepped down from his role in leadership and he and his wife stopped coming to the church. However, they did not stop coming to their friends/leadership who surrounded them with love and support and forgiveness. Eight or so years later and the two of them (still not back at their original church) are now members of a different church but last I heard were running a ministry for “ministry couples” that are hitting rock bottom. It was the most beautiful story of redemption and forgiveness on the part of thousands (it was a huge church) I have ever seen. The way the leadership supported them so completely is what I also believe helped keep their marriage together during such an amazingly difficult time. No one left either of one of them in support either by prayer or actual contact and I think it grew the church in leaps and bounds (not in numbers but in maturity)
No matter what a husband or wife’s vocation, work and time together must always be balanced. I think being in the ministry together has actually made our marriage and our love for each other much stronger than if we didn’t have such a compelling common mission. I do my best to stay involved, and I like to feel a part. If that weren’t the case, I could see how ministry could cause some major problems — just like any time a husband and wife aren’t united.
The only snares ministry has caused in our marriage so far is the time balance. My husband is a full-time music and youth mininster, as well as a seminary student. I want to support him as best I can, but it’s frustrating sometimes when he works all day long and then stays on the computer until a late bedtime working on seminary projects. But, I try to support him as he works so hard, and he does his best to spend the time we need together.
And yes, I have argued with him or have done other high-maintenance, whiny things before he taught, preached or led worship and felt immediately guilty. I never want to become a hindrance to how God wants to use him. He has enough on him without my drama at those critical times when he should be focused.
Lay Person:
1. Do you perceive that any of your ministers’ wives make their husband’s job difficult?
There has only been one pastor’s wife that I thought was hindering rather than helping. She was trying to “wear the pants” in both the home and the church and it left her husband looking weak and ineffective.
2. Is she overall supportive or does she begrudge what is required of him?
My most recent pastor’s wife and I were friends and she did admit that sometimes it was easy to resent all of the times he was away from home. But at the same time, she gave a lot to him and his ministry at our church.
3. Do you think your church demands have ever contributed to marital stress for your ministry families?
Yes, and unfortunately, at one point I was at the center of it. It was a hard time for the two of them. He wanted and needed to protect me and my children. She wanted and needed him to step back to keep her and their children out of the line of fire. It was a horrible line for him to walk. I know there were some arguements – she and I talked about it later.
4. Have any of your ministry marriages ever been in serious distress? If so, what steps, if any did your church take to help?
None that I’ve seen. They either have an extra dose of grace from God or they hide their distress really well.
I probably have a unique view and maybe even answers to your questions.
I met my hubby in Bible College. My hubby was a Pastor for 10 years and I served on staff too. We left the ministry for a break. We were terribly burned out.
That was four years ago. Our break is looking permanent.
We have been lay leaders in the church we attend (the first time, we’ve ever ‘just attended.’) It is amazing the perspective we’ve gained from ‘both sides.’
Our marriage nearly fell apart 3 months after we left the ministry. (I’m actually sharing that testimony tomorrow for the first time on my blog).
The glass house we lived in shattered. There were numerous reasons, but the main one was lack of intimacy. We had protected ourselves from getting too close to church members for so long, we forgot how to connect with one another and we didn’t even know it.
God worked a Divine miracle in us.
I’ve gotten close to my pastor’s wife now and I’ve been amazed at the deep love the people have and at the same time the deep envy some of the people have. They don’t want her to have nice things. She and her husband try to keep it very real, but I know they struggle.
Anyway, I could write a book about it (and almost did)! Can’t wait to read yours.
See ya at the garden party!
1. I don’t think it’s ever had a major negative impact on our marriage. I met him when his ministry first began to “take off” so this is all we’ve known…
2. That stupid phone. And often he has two– his and then the church emergency phone. I have laid the law down more than a few times about that stupid thing! :) In love, of course.
3. That’s a big no-no in our house. I have tried before, but he has reminded me of his responsibilities, and now I wait. Sometimes I have to completely avoid him so he doesn’t know that I’m upset. That is the one thing that I feel I’m really good at as a ministry wife… giving him a good morning before he leads worship.
4. Ugh… the first year we didn’t know why we never had enough money to make ends meet… until we figured out our taxes. It’s cause we didn’t make any money! Dave Ramsey is a Godsend, thankfully.
5. nope :)
I’m going to answer based on PAST and not current church experience, as a lay person.
1) We had an experience, where our pastor had an ongoing affair with a college student. He was “asked to leave,” “let go.” None of the congregation knew this. They just knew he was resigning. I thought he must be dying. Truth was, his wife didn’t know about it. So they walked all around the problem. So in effect, our church did nothing to help this marriage, which dissolved (and a little 7 year old darlin’ girl was hurt, too).
2) Following this situation, the next pastor and his wife were getting a hurt/ dysfunctional bride of Christ. His wife was quite supportive, but I think the demands of the church caused great stress on this couple. Within 6 months, the pastor’s wife went from friendly to introverted. Why? Because some caused her great pain somehow. So she shut down. She remained that way for the rest of their time (about 3 years).
Forgot to add anything about the limited income.
That is definetly not the best aspect of the ministry. My sister and her husband both work and are looking at buying a new house and I have times of jealousy, because I want to have a big house with the nicest things too.
But, we are the recipients of many blessings because people know of our limited income. And I think not having the hassles of having money is just one less thing that we have to deal with. We are big Dave Ramsey fans! He has helped us become fiscally responsible and we are living right where we want to be! Julie
First of all Lisa I love that you allow us laypeople to answer these too! Not that we have any real knowledge of the issues, but I just appreciate and enjoy the dialogue! Here are my little answers!
1. Do you perceive that any of your ministers’ wives make their husband’s job difficult? There has only been one time that I have seen this and it is in our current church 10 years ago. We had just begun going to this church and I had never met the wife of the minister. We began going in August became members in November and the pastor was gone the next week, they are now divorced. Now I know it wasn’t all her, but I heard (yes only heard) that she had a very negative attitude towards ministry.
2. Is she overall supportive or does she begrudge what is required of him? Our current pastors wife (actually both of them) are very supportive and godly women! It is a pleasure to know both of them! Our senior pastors wife is doubly supportive. He is also a reserve Navy Chaplain who spent one year in Germany last year!
3. Do you think your church demands have ever contributed to marital stress for your ministry families? No. Our Associate Pastor spends alot of time at church because he absolutely loves his job. His wife has always understood that! She is amazing.
4. Have any of your ministry marriages ever been in serious distress? If so, what steps, if any did your church take to help?
The first marriage I told you about was! I was too new to the church to know what the leadership may have done to help. I do know that our leadership was also in shambles at the time! God has done a mighty work at our church!
1. How has the ministry negatively affected your marriage, if ever? In what ways has it strengthened it?
The ministry has deflinitely strengthened our marriage because we have to work togther as a team. He is the pastor, but we are a “package deal” and there has to be unity.
2. Do you and your husband ever experience strife that is directly tied to his vocation? Is there something your hubby does that makes you steaming mad? Does he ever take advantage of your graciousness? (We are not husband-bashing here so remember that when leaving comments :)
My biggest challenge is the time demands of pastoring. We are so often interrupted by what we call the “bat phone” that seems to ring constantly. My man does a good job of not answering it during family time. I have complained in the past, but learned that this is part of his job as a shepherd and I could easier make his job harder with a complaining and negative spirit.
I have to remember that if I don’t embrace his calling and support him, I will be held accountable. A woman can make or break a man’s ministry.
3. Have you ever argued with your hubby immediately before he was supposed to preach/teach/lead music and felt guilty later?
Yes, I did this a couple of times early on. I have learned to give him his space before he preaches and not be argumentative or burden him with any unecessary news until after church. You would be surprised how many people will call him on Sunday morning just to talk!
4. What part has the limited income of ministry played in your families’ stress?
This has alsways been a big area of stress yet staying focused on the provision of God helps. It is so easy to stress out over money and turn on each other!
5. I ask this with much compassion and sensitivity, but have the pressures of ministry been the root of any moral breakdown in your marriage? Please answer anonymously.
Thank the Lord, no.
We are between churches as my husband was “let go” because of lack of church growth.
1. Our termination after being on same church staff for 27 years affected my entire life for I felt like we both had failed our church. But, I have to say that I found God in ways I never imagined I would through the suffering. I am alive like never before!
2. Strife…I have had way too less of love in my heart for everyone but myself. I was way too driven to “see or make something happen” in people’s lives. We are both very driven people for our Christ. There was something that drove me more than the love of my beautiful Christ—a ruling passion to be successful and we were not in their eyes.
3. Arguing. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but I was saying it in my heart and that’s just not pleasing to God at all.
4. Income. This was one of my biggest issues. I came from almost low-class poverty level and it was a constant challenge in the world we lived in to manage private school for 4 children. Maybe, we should not have done private school even though I am a firm believer. But wait, the alternative is not where God directed us. I bet it was pretty close to half a million dollars for all four. About $300-400,000…that’s a huge strain on any budget.
5. No moral breakdown in our marriage at all. Sometimes, I have lived too distant, too much of a parallel life going after the mission, the vision, but I have repented for my issues were more from my small self-obsessed heart than because of my husband or the ministry. (I grew up in a very abusive horrific home and brought severe “issues” with me when I became a Christian at 25.)
Great questions…
1. When I was young, I felt that God called me into the ministry. I never got a firm grasp of exactly what he wanted me to do until I married my husband. It was then that I realized that my ministry was to support my husband in his ministry. Thankfully, I learned this early on in our marriage and have made it a point to be supportive of him in every aspect of his job even when I really don’t feel like it. I believe that God has blessed our marriage as a result.
2. We have three small children and I really have to try hard not to resent him for not being able to help me get them up, fed, dressed, out the door, into the church, etc. on Sunday mornings. I have to remind myself a LOT that Sunday is a “work day” for him and just grin and bear it.
3. I admit, it’s happened a couple of times. But, oh, the guilt. That guilt has given me the incentive to hold my tongue until a better time. (And it usually gives me time to settle down a bit, too, which is a good thing.)
4. I am an Interior Designer and am in super nice houses on a regular basis. I have to admit that I tend to covet, mostly in my head…I know it’s still wrong. I am working on it! My husband knows that I want nice things (even though I try really hard not to voice those wants to him) and he struggles with the fact that he cannot provide for me in the way that he thinks I want to be provided for. I have told him over and over that I am so happy that he is in God’s will and just having him and our children is enough. But it’s a struggle.
5. So far, no. Praise God.
. How has the ministry negatively affected your marriage, if ever? In what ways has it strengthened it?
I have gotten jealous, over Chad’s time and energy. As a Preschool Pastor,he works with a lot of women. I just make sure that I take care of his needs and create a home enviroment that is irresisitable. For the recornd, he has not given me any reason to be jealous, that was all me and Satan. But it has helped me realize the improtance of the freedom to do the ministry and boundries when you work with the oppostite sex. Chad does not ride in cars with other ladies, he does not close he office door when meeting with ladies, it’s at least cracked open, etc…
I am also very involved and present in his ministry, and I know the ladies well.
2. Do you and your husband ever experience strife that is directly tied to his vocation? Is there something your hubby does that makes you steaming mad? Does he ever take advantage of your graciousness?
The cell phone, text messages and computer occupy a lot of time. The text messages are insane! That’s a huge way the staff guys communicate now.
3. Have you ever argued with your hubby immediately before he was supposed to preach/teach/lead music and felt guilty later?
Yes, and I try very hard not to.
4. What part has the limited income of ministry played in your families’ stress?
Oh my, can you say HEALTH ISURANCE? Yes, it’s stressful at times, but God is so faithful to provide.
My husband grew up in the ministry. I did not! I grew up in a family that didn’t go to church at all. I accepted Christ at 14. I wanted to completely envelope myself in God’s kingdom work. Little did I know…..I would grow up to marry a pastor!
1) In many ways we have struggled with our family life and our church life. My husband is one of those “workaholic” types. He is deep into his thing. We are both first-born STRONG-WILLED people too. So, we have high standards and end up doing everything, all the time. Churches love this at first…..but then they realize…we don’t have to do anything, the preacher’ll do it!
BAD BAD BAD! There begins resentment and dislike for the job altogether. Not to mention disprespect from the church members. We left our church of 6 years in March. We were in a very dysfunctional situation that was only made worse by our particular strenths. Watch out for “pew sitters”….they love to sit and watch and never do…but they are the most amazing critics!
2) #1 sorta answered this one too. I only have steaming mad issues when he gets too involved in church and not our homelife. He usually pulls back into family mode pretty easily. He learned to hand things over in the last few years.
3) Yes, we had a dumb argument once before morning worship. It was really stupid..and he would not preach until we settled it.
I felt really ashamed! I can’t even remember the big deal now. Pathetic!
4) This has been the most difficult part. We have struggled and barely gotten by every year. It is not cool to pay what we pay for seminary (financially and the time invested) and have the education that you have….and be paid peanuts. The average church (not the mega churches…they pay well) but the all-American town churches do not pay pastor’s in a way that is honoring to God (this is my opinion, I realize!). Many pastor fam’s have to do magic with their finances in order to make it. Then add on a few kids to support. Eek!
5) Blessedly, our lives have been spared from this type of pain. We have seen it all around us. This is one area that we have been passionate about. Our marriage has been protected and blessed. I think God knew we’d need that to work since other stuff has been so hard. This has been one of our biggest counseling issues though (other’s marriages in crisis). I am amazed at how people treat each other and feel about each other. It’s so sad!
I have felt amazing love for the ministry and tremendous depression over it too. I am honored that God would consider using me or my family in any way to further His kingdom. However, we have been hurt at the hands of the body in two different churches. We have watched friends from seminary struggle through painful …horrible situations with churches. Satan is always at work!
* Ministry Wives
1. How has the ministry negatively affected your marriage, if ever? In what ways has it strengthened it?
It was quite difficult for me to have my hubby as my pastor, for the longest time. But we’ve both grown and it’s easier now. I hate that my hubby is ultimately responsible for EVERYTHING and has to go to every meeting, etc. I am ending up alone a lot, but for now it’s OK. I’d rather be home by myself than go to 3 meetings a week. YIKES!
2. Do you and your husband ever experience strife that is directly tied to his vocation? Is there something your hubby does that makes you steaming mad? Does he ever take advantage of your graciousness? (We are not husband-bashing here so remember that when leaving comments :)
Rob was never a very good public speaker before. He’s improved greatly, but it angers me when I tell him every single week that he can’t be heard. If I CANNOT hear him in the second row, you KNOW the 80-year-olds cannot hear him sitting in the back.
3. Have you ever argued with your hubby immediately before he was supposed to preach/teach/lead music and felt guilty later?
YES! YES YES YES! It’s been a while now since it happened and I felt miserable afterward. It’s a 30 minute drive to church from our home, so we have a pact to only say encouraging and uplifting things on Sunday mornings and on our drive to church. It’s helped greatly.
Certainly I’m not PollyAnna for whom everything works out great. Just that Rob is a very cool-headed guy and if I am willing to chill out, he certainly is as well.
4. What part has the limited income of ministry played in your families’ stress?
He’s a full time computer nerd and part-time pastor. Our income has gone up enough that we can actually make all our bills each month with SAVINGS left over. How awesome is that?! But the exchange is that he’s ALWAYS got a phone to his ear, or a stinkin’ laptop on his lap. And I always feel guilty asking him to take a break because he’s either working, or working on his sermon.
5. I ask this with much compassion and sensitivity, but have the pressures of ministry been the root of any moral breakdown in your marriage? Please answer anonymously.
Praise God, no. We had some issues before he entered the ministry, but things have been wonderful again for about 5 years. We’ve been married now 15 years and it’s as good now as it ever has been.
1. How has the ministry negatively affected your marriage, if ever? In what ways has it strengthened it?
Yes, and no. Ultimately, it wasn’t the stress of ministry so much as what we had been taught (once called, always called – ie to be out of ministry means failure) At a point of near burn out, we pulled up our boot straps and kept going instead of taking time out to heal and allow God to work in our lives.
On the plus side, ministry has always been something that we have done together. I felt ‘called’ to be a pastor’s wife and knew going into our marriage that’s what my husband was called to do. The negative side has been when we weren’t on the same page in regards to where/how we should be ministering.
2. Do you and your husband ever experience strife that is directly tied to his vocation? Is there something your hubby does that makes you steaming mad? Does he ever take advantage of your graciousness? (We are not husband-bashing here so remember that when leaving comments :)
The strife that we experienced was directly related to differing opinions about where God was calling us. “…every wife is first and foremost called to support her husband no matter what his vocation” – I have followed my husband everywhere he has led – (including those times where I thought we should be doing something else) The struggle (for me) has been in the balance of knowing when God is speaking to me and when I’m just whining about doing something I don’t want to do! Attitude is everything, and that’s where much of my challenge has been in ministry. To keep focused on God rather than circumstance or the people around us. I would say, ‘yes, my husband has taken advantage of my graciousness’ – but then again, I have let him. I have always been pretty meek in stating my own opinions – often not even knowing what my opinion is!
3. Have you ever argued with your hubby immediately before he was supposed to preach/teach/lead music and felt guilty later?
Hoo-boy! Who hasn’t? We were the typical pastor’s family – wrangling right out the front door! However, we did try, I emphasize TRY, to leave all of that behind when we hit a certain landmark on our way to church.
And okay, I have a confession to make. I only did it once, but one time I wore black lingerie (including black stockings and garter belt) under my ultra-conservative dress – and made sure that my husband knew it. He was tongue-tied for most of his message! The worst part? I enjoyed every minute of it. I guess I was trying to take back a little of the feeling of helplessness and no power to make decisions. Of course, I realized that ultimately I was fighting against God’s authority in my life…
4. What part has the limited income of ministry played in your families’ stress?
Hit the nail on the head with that one. Learning to be content with whatever God provided (and the congregation didn’t) has been an ongoing struggle – especially when you start thinking of retirement years and realize that aint possible, because you have no ‘retirement’! Or savings, or home of your own…
I think this is a much tougher issue on us wives than our men – maybe not. Certainly, it was much easier straight out of seminary to say ‘God will provide’ and ‘Someday we’ll set some money aside’ Today, we’re working secular jobs to get out of debt – which we take full responsibility for, by the way – financial discipline was not our strong suit)
5. I ask this with much compassion and sensitivity, but have the pressures of ministry been the root of any moral breakdown in your marriage? Please answer anonymously.
I am grieved to say ‘YES’ to this one. And please, please listen to me, dear ones – it was totally out of the blue and something neither of us expected would EVER happen. In fact, the community at large believed others were telling lies about my husband and defended him to the core until he mailed out several hundred letters confessing his sin of adultery. How did it begin? Chatting online to others in ministry on the internet. May I say again, and loudly this time, OTHERS IN THE MINISTRY. That means ministry wives. That’s who he had one night stands with.
I hope that jars enough of us to stay alert – our enemy the devil IS a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. My husband never gave me reason to doubt him. He didn’t seem to suffer from temptations of other women. However, he was deeply hurt in a difficult (and although this bears no excuse) sin-filled ministry. I was trying to keep my head above water myself and missed every indication he tried to give me. I also had anger issues that were unconfessed. We were ripe for the picking, so to speak. And it hit me harder than 100 mile an hour winds – and knocked me just as flat. Our whole world collapsed. Our ministry was destroyed – our three teenage children crushed…
May I encourage you with a testimony that GOD IS GOOD, and He can take the worst of circumstances and use them for our good. Through a truly grace-filled church (not our own) we went through a restoration process. We stayed in the same area (and difficult as this was, I highly recommend it). It’s true that you are ‘on display’ so to speak – but even as those around you are watching – maybe waiting for you to fail, maybe even hoping you do, they are also seeing God at work.
Because my husband was truly repentant and I was willing to confess my own sin and ask his forgiveness as well as rely on God to extend forgiveness to him, we weathered the tornado that ran through our lives. In the process, God took us to the end of ourselves and brought healing to places we didn’t even know were broken.
Many believers differ on the opinion of fallen pastors going back into ministry. (unfortunately, those who hurt me most deeply at that time were other believers, not non-believers. My Christian brothers and sisters were the ones who encouraged me to leave my husband, or were so outraged they couldn’t forgive him – or us. One pastor went so far as to tell me that he felt that my husband could never be reconciled to God.) However, after a four year process of intimate scrutiny (and I mean scrutiny – for one year my husband met with two accountability partners, and continued another year with one of them. For two years he was never alone – worked long hours at a secular job and basically accounted for every minute of his day and his willingness to submit to all of this showed his sincere desire for a renewed relationship, not just with his family, but eventually in ministry) so after those four years (two of those years serving as an elder in the church that led our restoration) he stepped back into the pastorate role. A changed man, hallelujah, with a changed wife, double hallelujah!
Our children chose the path of forgiveness and grace, and God has restored our family. They are all living for the Lord, and I pray daily that they continue to pursue Him with their whole heart.
I say all that to say this – ministry is very difficult. Satan will stop at nothing to destroy you. Beware, be alert – listen to Peter – he’s seriously telling you to be sober and vigilant – Satan will hit you where you least expect it. But don’t give up. Never give up. Our God is awesome and wonderful, and following after Him is the most amazing thing in the world. Obedience to His Word, no matter what – that He will bless and use and turn the most devastating circumstances for good – and for His glory.