We Are Totally Tied

My Girl came home from school today with an important announcement:

“CRIMSON (her bff) TAUGHT ME TO TIE MY SHOES, MOMMY!” {And yes, she told me in all caps.}

Why is it my first reaction was to feel like a loser mom because another Kindergartener taught my child to tie shoes? Geesh. Do we women ever exhaust our list of insecurities?

I got over my brief session of self-degradation and told her what a wonderfully brilliant child she was to have learned such a complicated thing. And with that, the tying commenced. She pulled out every laced shoe in the house and proceeded to demonstrate.

What I didn’t anticipate is that The Girl had taken her tying skillz to the next level. I’m talking Masters Degree here with a few hours towards her Doctorate. Not only can she flat out make a bunny-eared bow, she can Triple Tie. Ask me how I know? It took me 20 minutes to get them undone so I could get my shoes on this morning. I would have taken a picture for you but then that would require my finding a camera, putting batteries in it, snapping the picture and uploading it all so you could see a hot mess of a knot. So visualize with me, will you?

But, the tying didn’t end there. Do you ever have those days of recurring themes? Get a load of this. While The Girl was tying shoes, she informed me that she also TIED for class favorites with who else, her bff Crimson. She was so excited that they got to share the honor. I asked her if she voted for herself or Crimson and she acted like I was the devil for even entertaining the thought. She said, “Mommy, who would ever vote for their selfs anyway?”

Ummmm. I don’t know? I can’t imagine anyone ever doing such a horrible thing.

*cough*

What’s more, while she and I were having this conversation, the phone rang. Want to know who was calling? My son’s bff: TY.

IS THAT NOT JUST PLAIN FREAKY?

I would tell you I’m going to put on my tye-dyed shirt and do some TaiBo but that would be a lie.

But lie rhymes with tie.

It’s SO time for me to say goodbye.

(You’re Welcome)

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