The Disconnect Between Knowing and Doing
So I’ve been doing a lot of studying in James 1:22-25 in preparation for my church’s annual women’s retreat. (And it totally wasn’t lost on me that Beth got on this passage in Session Two of Breaking Free tonight!) James is not for the faint of heart. Homeboy just tells it like it is which is why I’m particularly fond of him even in the midst of recovering from the wounds he inflicts on my sinful soul. One of the themes of our study weekend will address the disconnect between heart and hand – of what we hear versus what we do. In short, it’s all about obedience, girlfriends, which is the point of my writing today.
One of the beauties of our blog community is the wealth of life experience that we are able to share with one another. Your insights are invaluable to me because you bring balance to my points of view which may not cover the full spectrum of the needs of those listening. Yes, I trust the ‘rhema’ word of God, but I also know that as a woman I need practicality for a lesson to hit home.
Do you girls care if we have ourselves a little discussion? I welcome you to answer anonymously if you’d like.
1. Think of the most current thing the Lord has asked of you in the matter of a command/conviction/etc. Did you obey what He asked of you?
2. If yes, was it relatively easy? Was it excruciatingly hard? What was the end result?
3. If you did not, why? Does the term ‘spiritual blackmail’ speak to the possibility of some perceived disaster Satan has used to threaten your obedience?
These questions are vague because I want to explore your responses. I encourage you to expand on these thoughts in any way you feel compelled.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts. I’ll talk back in the comments!
Well hopefully I have obeyed Him easily lately. You know, without having to think about it too much.
But I know I have disobeyed Him recently.
Stephen and I decided to go on a mission trip to Mexico. It was a cheap trip to go on, we would drive there with our a group from our association. He would preach a revival and some others of us would do VBS for the kids during that time.
I was gung-ho at first. And then I decided I didn’t want to go there for a mission trip. It is dirty, unsafe, and not where I desired to be. I also didn’t want to leave my kids for 6 days with my in-laws. I know they would be loved and taken care of, I just couldn’t stand the thought of leaving them. (I have left them with them before, too many times to count)
I have told people since I decided not to go that I know I will be punished for this. That I am like Jonah. I was told to go to Ninevah and instead I went to Tarshish. I say it with a lilt to my voice and a smile on my face, but deep down I’m scared, not shaking scared, but reverently fearful of what my disobedience may mean.
Will it be something personal, will my children be affected, will it affect our ministry? I don’t know. And I don’t mean to be disrespectful or try to talk God out of punishment(although I would try if I thought it would work). Sometimes I think it is better to face it rather than put your head in the sand.
By the way. Stephen got there Saturday night, no water or electricity, today he led a whole family, 5 people, to the Lord. I haven’t heard from him tonight since he preached. But it looks as if God is going to show me up big time!!
Is this at all what you were after? Or did I see a rabbit and chase it all around this blog???
Love ya girl and CAN NOT WAIT to get that book!
.-= Julie´s last blog .. =-.
Julie, PRECISELY the kind of thoughts I want to hear. Let a few more roll in and we’ll talk.. Love you my friend!
Since the new year, God has been dealing with me about a few things. Let’s just be honest though and say they are things that I have been convicted over for months, not just the since the new year! For months I knew and felt the Holy Spirit saying, “Crystal, you’ve got to lay those things down!” But I just kept on.. kept on sinning. To some extent I was ignoring Him. And oh how that makes my heart hurt to look back on it! About 3 weeks ago though, I woke up in the middle of my sleep with this fear that I was going to die! Crazy, I know, but it just over came me! My heart was racing and so I just started praying. I knew God had woken me up for some reason. As I prayed, the Holy Spirit started convicting…. I knew then He had woken me up to deal with sin in my life. I ended up praying for about an hour, confessing, repenting and praying for God to help me with my struggles. Later that week, my son was dealing with a terrible earache (didn’t know that’s what it was until later) and he was up ALL NIGHT on and off for two nights in a row. I was weary, frustrated, and annoyed. Well, I determined that next night that I was going to just pray to get me through the night. Sure enough, he was up. So, I just prayed… And as I sat in that rocking chair, into the 2nd or 3rd hour of being up God started speaking and dealing with me again. This time about something different, but sin none the less. God knew what it would take getting me to deal with my sin.
I will tell you that these sins and dealing with them has been very hard! Over the past year I have allowed laziness, complacency and the stupid internet to consume so much of me. It had caused me to become completely and totally numb to so much. But I am over it! I have repented and God is working on me daily. These were issues that haven’t been easy to just let go. And since most of the things God dealt with me on weren’t ‘black or white’ I’ve really had to listen to the Holy Spirit to be discerning.
I wanted to share those particular instances to say that I am so thankful for a God who won’t let me wallow in my sin! I am so thankful for His sanctification! Tears well in my eyes when I stop to think that He woke me up to deal with sin! That’s how much He cares! Lisa, I am still a mess. I make so many mistakes, but praise God for forgiveness and the beautiful righteousness of Christ. What a privaledge it is to feel God working in your life! He is such a faithful Father.
Oh and I’ve also realized that maybe I need to listen to His voice more carefully in the day time, that way He doesn’t have to wake me up in the middle of the night! ;)
.-= Crystal´s last blog ..Menu and the D word… =-.
I have certainly messed up when He has given me direction, but this one that I’m learning to obey. I have heard other people say that they really had a “burden to pray” for someone. I never really understood that until recently. A friend emailed me and said, “Pray for me–my marriage.” That was it, which is fine, but I had no idea how to pray or how to encourage her. God prompts me to pray often. And He gives me something to email her frequently. I’m sure I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth on more than one occasion, but she has given me grace. More often than not she has commented that the timing of calls or emails was just right. One day it was her birthday, and I didn’t even know it. Our God is good!
.-= Shelly´s last blog ..The rest of the Houston story =-.
“Never misunderstand pain as permission to forego the will of God.”
I read this quote but have no idea who said it. Anyway, whoever said it said it for me. I just lost my Dad on Christmas Day very unexpectedly and we are also in the process of talking with another church. My husband goes to preach on Feb. 7th in view of a call. I am feeling very overwhelmed and very tempted to just check out. I have been truly comforted during this time and know that grieving is just a process, but I have also felt God telling me that his commands to love, be joyful, and serve others still apply to me, even in my grief. It has been very hard to stay focused on Him and the big picture when I want to just crawl in a hole and avoid the world. I also know that whether I like it or not, there are a lot of people watching the way that I handle my grief and that satan would love nothing more than to use this to destroy my witness.
I’m not sure if any of this is what you are looking for, but I would sure appreciate your prayers!
.-= Emily Fidler´s last blog ..The Nightmare Before Christmas =-.
“Do you want to be like me (God) or not? There is grace in divorce and I will give it to you. But it is not my plan for you. It is not my best for you. Go be a doer of my Word not just a hearer.”
The initial decision to stay in my marriage was THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO. The months following the affair as the consequences were knocking out our door (loss of job as student pastor, choose to move out of the city I loved and considered my home, finding a new church, dealing with the fresh hurt) was intense and I had to make the decision everyday to stay. I would love to say that I did not waver but I cannot. I left several times (only for a few days at time!) and I begged God to release me from the marriage. He never did and I am thankful He held me to the standard of His Word. He was and continues to be faithful to me and I am starting to see evidence of the God that makes all things new!
I was also reminded of the story of King David when he went to make a sacrifice to God and someone wanted to give him the land and he responded to God by saying ” I will not sacrifice something to my God that cost me nothing.” (2nd Sam. 24:24) Staying in my marriage cost me a lot (mostly pride) but in the end every time I think about what we have lost I am reminded of the sweet aroma that obedience is to my King.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Walking thru the Word…Catching Up =-.
Lisa,
I forgot to post the first part of my comment! I am so sorry! If you want to delete my first post and just put this one that would be great!
I guess the one that comes to my mind immediately is a little over a year ago when God told me it was not only His plan for me, but His command to me to stay in my marriage after I found out my husband had been unfaithful. God was so good and spoke as directly to me as He ever has. He spoke to me very tenderly but firmly and reminded me I was in a covenant relationship with my spouse. Christ keeps his covenant with me and it has NOTHING to do with what I do or don’t do. He then reminded me that if I wanted to be like Him then I would keep my side of the covenant regardless of my husband’s actions. Me keeping my covenant has nothing to do with what my husband chooses to do or not to do. I TORE my Bible up looking for my “out” but in the end the questions that were posed to me were:
“Do you want to be like me (God) or not? There is grace in divorce and I will give it to you. But it is not my plan for you. It is not my best for you. Go be a doer of my Word not just a hearer.”
The initial decision to stay in my marriage was THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO. The months following the affair as the consequences were knocking out our door (loss of job as student pastor, choose to move out of the city I loved and considered my home, finding a new church, dealing with the fresh hurt) was intense and I had to make the decision everyday to stay. I would love to say that I did not waver but I cannot. I left several times (only for a few days at time!) and I begged God to release me from the marriage. He never did and I am thankful He held me to the standard of His Word. He was and continues to be faithful to me and I am starting to see evidence of the God that makes all things new!
I was also reminded of the story of King David when he went to make a sacrifice to God and someone wanted to give him the land and he responded to God by saying ” I will not sacrifice something to my God that cost me nothing.” (2nd Sam. 24:24) Staying in my marriage cost me a lot (mostly pride) but in the end every time I think about what we have lost I am reminded of the sweet aroma that obedience is to my King.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Walking thru the Word…Catching Up =-.
Poor Emily, I crawled in the hole and hid– so good for you for facing this head-on! I’m still praying for you.
I am crazy busy right now with many things that I am trying to accomplish and get done before the end of April, and am struggling to keep it together. God recently stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that He is the only one who matters, and that I must strive to please only Him.
As a pw, I have always worried about what the people in our church would think of me or what they might say about me thus, making me a very ineffective pw. They, of course, have no idea what I do with my time or what I do behind the scenes for them or the church. I wouldn’t want them to know, anyway. When God stopped me, I realized that what others in the church think of me is not really relevant to my mission, only what He thinks. I must do the things that I know are right for God’s purpose in my life. It has truly been a freeing experience for me, because it relieves the pressure that I put on myself to be what everyone else expects. I can begin (after 15 years in ministry) to fully enjoy what God has called me to do.
I also struggle with making a separate time for just God and me to get together. I spend too much time watching tv or on the internet. I know God is dealing with me on this, but I constantly find myself coming up short. As I get older, I get so much wiser about what’s important, and am finding that there is nothing more important to ME, not to God, that I make this time available to Him. I also find as I get older that I don’t have nearly as many excuses as I use to (like when my kids were younger) to disobey.
.-= Patty´s last blog ..proud mama =-.
Without going into every detail (I could write a post series on this whole thing), we began to look for a senior pastorate over 1 ½ years ago. We knew what my husband was capable of and we knew the kind of church we would be a good fit for. So we went for it and even made “top 3” at a few awesome churches. But nothing happened. So we broadened our location range. Nothing. Broadened our church size, a few bites, but nothing. What? Nothing? Really? Re-evaluation came into play. We were even approached about starting a church in the New England area. We gave it serious thought but had to wait 6 mo to research the area etc. We became weary, heavy, spiritually. Not doubting, but lost in which direction to go next. Does that make sense? So what was wrong with us? We knew we were being called to pastor. No doubt. We HOPED God would grant us one of the churches we sent resumes to.
We hoped. That was the problem. What was God wanting? Our Faith. Faith in Him, that He would bless our life, no matter the vocation, location, style, and size. I look back and remember telling my husband one day “We should desire 100 solid members than 800 lukewarm members.” So we embraced that mindset, and decided to literally giving up the search. We decided maybe we should go back to Seminary and finish those last few classes of the MDiv then go and start a church in NE. We gave up all our hopes and it was the hardest decision to make. Stop looking for a church? Yes. Stop looking. Go back to seminary with 3 little kids? Absolutely. We had faith that He would provide. So we registered, found a place to live, and looked for jobs in Louisville KY. And the funny thing, we were at peace. Not giddy exactly, but at peace with what God wanted.
We were 2 weeks from going (POD packed) when our son made Allstars for baseball. So we had to wait a couple more weeks. During those 2 weeks, we received a call from a small church in Waco TX (we never sent resume’s to Texas). Three weeks after that call we found ourselves sending the same POD but with a different location. We have been in Waco since August and the Lord has been nothing but awesome here. We needed this church to love and affirm just as much as they needed a leader like my husband. And you know what? We were running 130 when we came and now are at 160. They ARE the solid members I told my husband I wanted to have. So God taught us a big lesson in faith and hope. Was it hard? Ya. You bet! But here we are. Blessed by our Father. He was just waiting for us to put Him in the lead as we trusted the path. Faith.
.-= Mariah´s last blog ..Fix It Friday: Making the Most =-.
Your answers are fabulous! Keep them coming! I’ll post a response soon…
I read all of these comments and I’m in awe of God.
It almost makes me feel guilty for struggling with my own circumstances. Almost. I cannot give into guilt and add it to the list of things to deal with, but It “does” put my problems into perspective.
I suppose my struggle hasn’t necessarily been with a “big” decision, but rather my daily attitude. A lot has changed over the past year. My oldest daughter became pregnant, got married, then waved goodbye to her new husband as he left for basic training for the LA National Guard. She, too, is in the Guard.
My first grandchild–Gavin–was born in November. The plan is for them to stay here with us as Trey–my new son-in-law–deploys to Iraq. Plans have changed almost daily about whether or not he would leave for Iraq training, then deploy. Paper work, red tape slowed the process leaving us all in limbo.
Finances have been strained for them due to the changes as they anticipated higher pay right away this month when he was supposed to leave for more training. As it turns out, he will probably go straight to Iraq the first of March. That has me scratching my head wondering ‘why’ it’s ‘okay’ for him to skip the two months training originally planned.
Our own finances are strained due to a recent cut in my husband’s income. A sign of the times. So many are struggling. I had prayed at length about my place during all of this. Taking on new roles in such a short time can be overwhelming. And then I remember doing the exact same thing and I realize what sacrifices my parents made.
Sigh.
I planned to keep Gavin once my daughter found a job and eventually when she starts college in the fall. I have a three-year-old daughter (yes, because I’m crazy and started all over and had my tubes untied) and a 17-year-old daughter. I often feel like someone is constantly upset with me. Staying on top of everything can be overwhelming. But I’m sure most of you go through that as well.
Trey’s time here has meant more time for him with Gavin and Cammie. I imagine it sounds almost petty that I would struggle with all of this. But we have all been in limbo. I hate being in limbo. But, God is still on the throne during the season of “limbo”.
So I have been praying and fasting and seeking God for wisdom for my husband for a job change, direction for all of us. More of Him, really. And I have sensed so strong that He is telling His people we must, we MUST take Him at His Word. His Word hasn’t changed. He IS faithful.
And of course all hell broke loose since then. BUT! BUT–HE IS FAITHFUL!
My struggle has been not teeter-tottering back and forth with my faith. It has been in the little things–those stinkin’ little foxes that spoil the vine–that I have struggled. Blowing it with my mouth. And you know what? It’s NEVER worth it.
So I will keep praying and hopefully surrender my struggles and just obey. And ask for you to pray for me as well.
.-= Rena´s last blog ..Seventeen =-.
At first I thought, what could I say?
And then I thought, what COULDN’T I say?
I feel like God is and has been shaking me up in every which way for several months now, and something tells me he isn’t stopping. And I don’t want him to. But I am being asked to change almost everything about my life. And I can’t start because it is almost midnight.
But what I really wanted to say is that this weekend someone asked Beth what her next study was going to be and guess what she said? James.
I KNOW.
.-= missy @ it’s almost naptime´s last blog ..America’s Next Top Siestas =-.
This is such a timely post for me. After much prayer and consideration my husband decided to resign from his Sr. Pastor position. Incompatibality would be the easiest (shortest?) explaination I could give. God has given him a vision that did not align with the vision of the church. So we are moving on. We totally feel like God was leading us to step down and feel confirmed in this decision.
This was not an easy decision for us especially since we have nothing lined up. So now we are looking for him a ‘tent-making’ job and starting the church planting journey.
For me this is taking a lot of faith. Most of the time more faith than I feel like I have. I don’t know anything about church planting and I really struggle with feeling inadequate. Is God really sure that he wants to me to be a part of this? Doesn’t he know me and all my imperfections?
I’m really having to cling to the fact that He is who He says He is. And that doesn’t come easy for me. But His plan is not about me, it’s about Him. And luckily I don’t have to find my worth in people. I can only find my worth in the Lord.
My prayer is that these attitudes of my heart will become the attitudes of my life because currently there is a disconnect. I’m living in fear and allowing other’s perceptions of me (my looks, my hobbies, my ‘christian-ness’, my talents) to guide my actions. My favorite verse is Psalm 27. It’s time I start believing it.
.-= Alyson´s last blog ..Week 3 =-.
[…] Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife on Making A StatementJenilee on Making A StatementAlyson on The Disconnect Between Knowing and Doingmissy @ it's almost naptime on The Disconnect Between Knowing and DoingRena on The Disconnect […]
Hey girl…I’m always a day late :)
The Lord has been busy asking in my life this week!!! Whew – Sunday, being Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, I did my comfortable little presentation and sat down to leave the rest to my husband…all was well until I felt that little stirring and I know immediately that the Lord was telling me I wasn’t done…He wanted me to confess my past abortion before our congregation which is not so easy being the pastor’s wife! I knew He was telling me not to ask anything of our women I was not willing to do myself, which was to speak up about my past and testify about His healing. I’m feelin’ ya on the “spiritual blackmail” issue as my thoughts ranged from worry about embarrassing my husband to the fact that I hadn’t yet told my son, who wasn’t even in the room. Lots of reasons why I should not share were flooding my mind. Yet, I know all too well when the “stirring” is from the Holy Spirit. I can’t say that it was a very had decision or one that I had very much time to make. I just chose to obey and the end result was compassion from my church members, connection with many of our women, and a peace in my heart that only comes from obedience. Some women have already come to me, confessing sins from the past and seeking healing.
As for what the Lord is asking of me now…it’s hard, doesn’t make sense, and the spiritual blackmail is in full force, but I will CHOOSE to obey. It’s my choice. Doubts will come…i.e., “was that really God’s voice I heard or was it just me?” (Am I the only one that struggles with that?)
But I am choosing not to doubt in the dark what God has shown me in the light!
I recently found myself in a situation of disobedience and was COMPLETELY unaware. I was shocked, stunned and saddened in the end when I realized it.
We were praying for a member and the CRAZIEST thing ever happened… I felt a nudging and gentleness come over me to place my hand on her elbow.
I think lack of understanding, lack of ever experiencing something like that before and lack of fully and wholly recognizing the prompting and voice led me to dismiss it- though the urge was there a few times.
Immediately after we were all done laying hands on and praying for her she commented to the entire group how her elbow had been hurting and she had been praying about that.
I have no idea what God intended when I was urged to move my hand from her shoulder to elbow, but I know next time I won’t hesitate. That simple move could have been a sign to her that He was hearing and listening.
To say I was horrified and devastated is an understatement. And I’m so embarassed I never even got the courage to tell her how I ignored and dismissed what was apparently a divine prompting. :(
.-= Janet´s last blog ..OB News & Sonogram Appointment =-.
Four weeks ago my husband and our family left the church we planted 12 years ago and that we deeply loved to move out of state (leaving both our families) to pastor an existing church that has had no pastor for two years. We knew there would be challenges and we would be entering an entirely different church culture and, frankly, that scared me to death. In fact the week before we moved I stood in our hallway with tears in my eyes and my husband said, “What is wrong?” I said, “Oh nothing, I just don’t WANT TO FREAKIN’ MOVE, that’s all !!!!.” As soon as it came out we both laughed out loud because we knew it was a fleeting,hormonal outburst that was partially true but that was mostly over-ridden (I think I made that word up???) by a desire to truly follow God’s lead. God was calling us to leave everything we knew and loved and while I was obeying I still struggled with my attitude in it. I desperately wanted my spirit to catch up with the act of obeying but I didn’t know how. I was praying. I was telling God I wanted to do what he was calling us to do but did it really have to include moving six hours away from my mother who is a recent widow? And to go into an older church where the funkiest music was Buelah Land played to banjo? For real, God? The first three and a half weeks (which puts us up to this past Sunday) I cried almost every day and saw this new town of ours as a total strange land in which I could not feel any comfort whatsoever. But the Lord broke through my heart this past Sunday in such a sweet way. He used our installation service to minister to me in a unique way that I wasn’t expecting. And truly out of nowhere God put inside of me a spirit of great anticipation and excitement. A desire to be right where we are. A feeling of leaving behind the familiar and embracing and loving the here and now. He helped me pull my other foot out of GA and place it firmly in NC. And I praise God that he gently and in unexpected ways helped my heart catch up with the act of obedience that was taken just a few weeks ago.
.-= Melody´s last blog ..“The Call” =-.