Called Out: You Can’t Fill Another Woman’s Shoes

You Can’t Fill Another Woman’s Shoes

By Patsy Evans

On Friday, I went shoe shopping in a store with over 100,000 pairs of shoes. I need this store because I wear a size 12, which is not widely available. This foot frustration made me think about filling the shoes of the women who preceded me in ministry.

I’ve followed two very different women. It was easier to follow the first one because she was not a regular church attendee (I was), and I had a two-month-old child (I was needed at home.)  I had much less life experience than the predecessor in our second church. This Senior Citizen grew up in a pastor’s family, attended seminary, relished theological debates and counted Francis Schaeffer as a close friend. She was gracious to me.

What have I learned? You can’t fill another woman’s shoes. You shouldn’t try. There are some things you can do, though.

You should be as honestly transparent as possible when applying (or, your husband is applying) for your next church or ministry assignment. Churches can be very different in their expectations. According to a song I heard about ministry marriages, some churches think they are getting “two people for the price of one.” Other churches do not want to hear from the wife because the call is for the husband only. In my opinion, both of these are unbalanced approaches. You need to tell the church as much as possible about yourself so that they won’t expect a clone of your predecessor. They need to tell you about themselves so that you know what to expect, as well. “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” (Luke 6:31)

When you get to a new place, realize that you are equipped for the ministry God gives you. He uses experiences from your past as well as what you are learning from Him today. In fact, as His children, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness.”(II Peter 1:3) These are the ultimate resources for doing what He calls us to do in our lives and ministry.

We can’t work outside the biblical framework God gives, but we can use our minds to evaluate how to minister in His name. Think about the church’s needs and how to match that with the spiritual gifts and graces God has given you. It is quite possible that you have exactly what the church needs at this time. This might be a unique quality that was lacking in the predecessor. “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:.” (I Peter 4:10)

I have come to terms with my big feet. It is wishful thinking that I could squeeze into a size 10. I don’t even try. In the same way, I am usually content with the way God made me and with the gifts He has given me. I don’t even try to be the woman who went before me. Her shoes wouldn’t fit me anyway.

As well as being a pastor’s wife for over thirty years, Patsy Evans is the mother of both a pastor’s wife and a pastor. Her ministry of serving the Lord is not of the “sings in the choir and teaches Sunday school” variety. Patsy blogs for women in ministry with her daughter, Megan at Sunday Women.

*Are you interested in writing an article for Called Out?  Do you know someone who might?  Be sure to check out our submission guidelines.  If you have any questions or are ready to submit your article, please email us at submissions@apreacherswife.com.  We’ve loved what we’ve received, so please keep them coming!  Look for our next Called Out article on October 14.

September 30, 2011 | Filed Under Called Out | 6 Comments 

Something We Really Need to Discuss

I have something very important I need to talk to you about.

The X Factor.

As for me and my house, we love.

I love that it is open to groups.  It is an inspired idea to have an audience for auditions.  So much can be read from their reaction.  And I really love that it is open to old people.  Who are, you know, over 30.

So far my favorites are Young Homie. ( And you’ll have to excuse me for calling them by their songs because I don’t remember any of their names yet.)  Greasy Burrito guy that sang ‘At Last’.  Didn’t see that one coming.  The girl Justin Beiber fanatic who re-styled Baby to the piano.  Even though I am not a fan of Justin, I LOVED her version.  Very risky.  (Sydney, who is the only 9 year old girl on the planet who doesn’t like JB, said, “I wish she would change all of his songs.”) Hi five to that.

And my favorite.  My favorite…

“STOP LOOKING AT MY MOM, MY MOM, MY MOM!”

I told the boys someone had finally written a song they could sing about me.  And they gagged and said things like, “Whatever” and “Your mom has to be awesome if you want to sing that song”.    But seriously, that kid was amazing.  I would love a son forever who would write about me, “She looks so young, you thought I was her brother.”  Classic.

I’m also loving the judges.  Nicole S. (what is her last name anyway?) is surprisingly witty and classier than I expected.   And L.A. Reid?  I am determined to master his facial expressions when he is really in to it.  He’s the truth.

Are y’all liking the show?  Better or worse than American Idol?   Who are your faves so far?

 

September 30, 2011 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 3 Comments 

The Birthday that Keeps On Giving

Sydney’s 9th birthday was this month.  I’m not sure how you do it around your house, but here it seems the birthdays just keep going on and on and on.  Take my girl for example:

1. This is Syd the night before her birthday.  The anticipation is high.  I miss the ability to get this excited over myself.

2. This is her on the way to school on The Big Day.  She is eating a Chicken Noodle Soup at Hand for her special breakfast. Please don’t judge.

 

3.  Party #1:  Syd and I baked brownies for her 3rd grade class the night before because – according to her - ”they are so much more awesome than cupcakes.”  The highlight was the homemade icing.  Hopefully that made up for the Soup at Hand breakfast.

4.  Time for opening presents after school.  I will spare you all of the pics, but this one captures Syd and her present state of maturity.  I have to be out of town a lot and it now grieves her when I take the flat iron and good blow dryer.  We got her a black/white/pink adorable one and a matching dryer that I would like to keep for myself.  Guess what?  The hair care implements were her favorite thing.  It’s my legacy to her.

5.  I have no pics for point five but I took Sydney with me to a retreat I taught for my beloved Georgia home girls  in Pigeon Forge, TN.  Syd and I shopped during our breaks.  Her favorite purchase at the outlets?  A 1/2 pound block of chocolate fudge.  Have I used the word Legacy?

6.  The  Sleepover:  This is where I am coronated as Mom of the Year.  Syd invited four of her besties to spend the night this past Friday.  Please note the Braveheart facepaint on her friend, C.   I am very happy they were content with making friendship bracelets rather than insist on more face painting because there is a limit to my crazy and that would have pushed me right over it.

 

7.  After taking the previous picture I felt compelled to re-enter the room when I heard the phrase, “Be careful!  You might pull her out of socket!”  This is a little game we play called Medieval Torture and the girls loved it.  And no one came out of socket which is apparently how you win.

 8.  Killing several birds with one stone:  I had been out of town teaching for two weekends in a row prior to this one which also means I had missed Sawyer and Sam’s football games.  (Mom Fail.) So, it was absolutely necessary that the girls go to the football game which I’m certain is just exactly what Syd had envisioned for the night.  Thankfully my friend Carrie L. had the fabulous idea of hosting a post-game tailgate party.  This meant several things:  I got to attend my son’s ballgame.  I could have Syd’s cake and party food at said party.  I didn’t have to wreck my kitchen with all the festivities.  Win. Win. Win.  Wait.  Does Syd have her jacket on inside out?  I really believe she does.  Please look away from the girl in the inside out jacket until her mom can fix that.

 9. This picture has nothing to do with Sydney but I’m obsessed with it.  This must have been during a defense series because Sawyer is on the sideline. (Did you notice how I threw in the term, ‘series’ there? Don’t be impressed.  It’s the extent of my knowledge.)  What I have learned is that Sawyer is a  left guard on offense.  I’ve remember his position by telling myself he is not the deodorant (Right Guard).   Anyway, of all the people he could stand beside, he chose his dad aka Luke, Pastor by Day, Team Chaplain by Friday Night.  This is pure joy to me.

 
 

Syd’s birthday celebration has officially come to a close but never fear, Sam’s is in October so we get to do it all over again.

With 12 year old boys.

How do you do birthdays?

September 27, 2011 | Filed Under Family, The Girl | 5 Comments 

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