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Who Says You Can’t Go Home?
There is never a time that I presume to teach the Bible that my heart isn’t racing or my armpits squirting. It’s really not so much that I’m scared of the people or being on the stage though that does play a small part. It’s being accountable for what I’m teaching. Being afraid that my thoughts won’t resonate. Ultimately being afraid that in my humanity I’ll just flat out blow it. And believe me, I’ve blown a lot. That particular fear used to cripple me in the voices of self-condemnation when I was finished. “You are an idiot. I can’t believe you said that! I can’t believe you forgot to say this! Why do you do this to yourself when it’s not even necessary?”
At one point I really considered laying down the whole calling until the Lord reminded me in prayer, “Lisa, those accusations are coming to you in third person.” And when I thought about it, He was totally right. When The Voices are in full volume, the thoughts were not me saying, “I am not enough”. It is always YOU are not enough. The Lord helped me to recognize that it was the Accuser inflaming my flesh and using it against me in the form of pride. Now maybe that doesn’t sound like pride but the Lord taught me that if I’m focused on ME either being more than or less than worthy, pride is still present. I had a stronghold of reverse pride and even though it still threatens to dig its claws back into me often, the Lord and I have come a long way in beating it back to the praise of His glory. There is so much freedom in doing what you love – even if I am scared to death – and then trusting Him with the outcome.
All that is back story in telling you that reverse pride reared its ugly head before teaching this past weekend at Oakwood Baptist’s Women’s Day. The reason? It’s the first time I have taught back home in front of high school friends who knew me in life B.C. – Before Christ. I knew several who would be there and because it was my hometown, I imagined I’d be surprised by others due to the size of the church and its reach in the community. Luke and I have been gone for years and in my mind, I’ve always believed the Lord took us far from it so we may actually be free to minister to those who didn’t have some preconceived idea of who we were. It’s the whole ‘prophet has no honor in his hometown’ mentality I suppose. Though the thought never really formed in my mind, somehow I believed I’d never be asked to go back.
I literally sobbed before the Lord because the full circle gravity of the moment wasn’t lost on me at all. Like Jonah I’m sure I cried, “Lord, can’t you send someone else?” But over and over in my spirit I felt Him say, “Lisa, it’s time. In fact, it’s overdue.” But then The Voices started, “They won’t hear a thing you say because all they’ll be thinking about is Old Lisa. They will laugh at you.” I tried to take comfort in knowing there were people there whose hearts were for me. But, the whole thought of being jeered threatened to take me down.
Maybe I’m being too honest with you here but I feel the need to praise the Lord as one who delivers the exact opposite response than the ones our fears set us up to believe is coming. The ones that often cause us to avoid adventuring into the unknown because we live as though the thing we are most afraid of is already a reality. My imaginations already had people laughing at me and imagining how I’d steel myself to protect my heart (definitely Old Lisa mentality) days before we laid eyes on one another.
And it was lies! All lies! And I almost succumbed to them. Had it not been for some special girls praying for me, I would have. Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Satan couldn’t have been more wrong though I’m presuming he knew that already. The day was one of my favorite on record. I met new friends – Lisa Eason and Oakwood ladies, your ministry is amazing. Robert and Carrie, your worship is reverent and lifted my heart straight to heaven. I saw some blog friends from Hurt Road Baptist (love you girls for coming all the way from Atlanta!). I saw friends who didn’t know me when but who have walked many years with me: Cindy, I love you and I needed you there more than you know. And then I saw many of my old friends and acquaintances. Shame on me for allowing myself to think that you would be less than the wonderful women of God that you are. I blame it all on the devil. Dern him.
Here are my friends Diana and Kristi. Our husbands used to be drinking buddies before the Lord rescued us all from ourselves and placed us all in various forms of ministry. (Kristi is the Women’s Ministry Director at Oakwood’s Gateway Campus where this event took place.) Man does God have a sense of humor:
By the way, Diana makes these fabulous bead necklaces with personalized charms. She blessed me with one that is BEAUTIFUL but my camera battery is dead so I’m showing you one from her gallery. (Want one? Leave me a note in comments and I’ll hook you up. OR you can message her on Facebook at Diana Newell Dotson.)
A crowd shot. This church campus takes up the better part of a mall in Ringgold, GA.
Some of my old buddies. Lisa is on the left. We were best friends in high school and I’m so happy after all these years we’ve been able to rekindle our friendship. Michelle is to my right. We were also besties back in the day. Then there’s sweet Wendy. She was actually one of Luke’s best friends since their families used to spend a crazy amount of time together. I’m dying for the two of them to get to see one another. They have the most fun stories. I love all of you and appreciate your encouragement more than you can possibly comprehend.
Thank y’all for allowing me to tell you more stuff than you really wanted to know.
It was cathartic.
Allow me to end with the spiritual lyrics of my boy Jon Bon Jovi:
It doesn’t matter where you are, doesn’t matter where you go
If it’s a million miles aways or just a mile up the road
Take it in, take it with you when you go
Who says you can’t go home?
Turns out, you can.
Fun in Oneonta!
As long as I live I won’t ever get over thanking the Lord for allowing me the privilege of teaching His Word to a some of the most adorable women EVER. In a strictly hypothetical sense, you would think there would eventually be a group that you wouldn’t be smitten with, but so far, hasn’t happened. Women are just fabulous wherever you go. In Saturday’s case, it was Mary Snyder’s church girls in Oneonta, AL who congregated at the COUNTRY CLUB no less. We are bona fide, indeed.
An added bonus were the familiar faces of Siestaville who trekked through the blizzard to attend. Here’s a couple of pics….some mine, some stolen:
1. Mary, Robyn, and Cathy having a post-meal at the local Mexican restaurant.
2. Nikki finally taught me the fine art of auto-photography. I always chop off my head.
3. Dedra Herod and her bff Karen who is adorable and I love her !
4. Mary and her daughter, Charity. I think she was a little concerned her mom’s computer friends would be weird. She had every right to be. They are.
5. Love these faces!
6. My girl Robyn.
7. Cathy Davis and Anna Nicole.
My friends Stacy and Charlotte also came over from Ranburne. It was great seeing you! Mary and girls, thanks again for entrusting this time to me.
My heart is full.
God With Us Macedonia Event Recap
I’m not altogether certain how in to event recaps y’all are but for me they are a scroll of remembrance of the fabulous women the Lord has enabled me to serve through speaking. And you may or may not think this is weird, but I have an aversion to the term ’speaking’. It seems an over-used, under-adequate word to describe those times when the Lord is able to communicate a Word to a room full of expectant hearts in spite of this flawed teacher. In a world where my terminology would make sense I’d prefer to be considered an invisible conduit present only as a means of delivering the message from point A to point B. Kind of like one of those vacuum tubes at the bank that I’ve yet to figure out. Except I have no idea how you would say that in an introduction:
“Greetings, Ladies. Our hose pipe thingie for the night is Lisa McKay.”
So, yeah. I understand ’speaker’ is simpler but I will be infinitely happier when someone comes up with an alternative.
Once again, I’m taking the long way around to tell you that last weekend I travelled to “speak” for a Christmas banquet at Macedonia Baptist in Ranburne, AL. Macedonia reminded me SO much of my own church being tucked into the Alabama countryside. It was within smelling distance (as their PW, Stacy put it) of Georgia. It was also dangerously close to a Target. Georgia. Target. It was like being cradled between two of the great loves of my life.
Stacy’s girls put together a Christmas Spectacular that lived up to the name. There were tables galore decorated by hostesses that were positively stunning. Here are a few photos Stacey sent my way:
This is just a sampling of all the gorgeous decor. There were many more tables and I’m sorry that I didn’t get them all but it was way past bedtime when I was uploading pictures! You can only imagine how beautiful it was with the lights dimmed and candles lit everywhere. It was magical, y’all!
Ladies, thank you once again for considering the implications of Immanuel in a way that I pray was as freshly relevant to you as it was me. Knowing that we have a condescending God who stooped low to make us great is still more than my heart can take in. This quote by Phillip Yancey is still my favorite: “A parent stands tall to administer discipline but stoops low to give love and affection.” Indeed, He is gracious. He is with us. He is for us, Immanuel.
I also have to add that Stacy and the precious church secretary, Charlotte, spoiled me all but rotten. Get this: Stacy had a Diet Dr. Pepper in the fridge so that I would have a cold one for the drive home. And then, she gave me not one but TWO cases of my favorite sized bottles to take with me! What? Are you kidding me? That kind of thoughtfulness is definitely a spiritual gift and definitely not one I take lightly. And Charlotte, dear. THANK YOU. You know of what I speak. There is a card on its way to you.
I also can not stop without mentioning the wonderful quiet time basket the T.E.A. ministry of the church put together for me. My camera is dead at the moment or I would photograph it. It was positively brimming with everything a woman needs for the perfect meeting time with Jesus from a journal to a devotional to tissue to MILK DUDS. Again, I’m overwhelmed at how much these girls went out of their way to bless me.
THANK YOU, Ranburne, and May God Be With You!
p.s. How many of you girls have churches whose women’s ministries do Christmas events? What types of things are you doing together? Banquets, eating out, progressive dinners? Love to hear how your church girls bond!
