May, May, Go Away

Will you think less of me, friends o’mine, if I tell you May is my least favorite month of the year?

Oh sure, there’s the whole May Flowers jazz. And Mother’s Day. And the return of warmer temperatures. All good things but who can enjoy them when the school and baseball calendar go seven kinds of crazy?

I full well realize that our school officials shouldn’t be expected to check with me when planning end of the year award ceremonies and activities. But, is it too much to ask for a little lumping? Do I need to go teach a crash course on multi-tasking as in having elementary award day immediately after Kindergarten graduation so we can get a couple things over with at one time? Anyone else feeling robbed of the last weeks of School Year Bliss a.k.a. 9 months of 7 hour days of Me Time?

And perhaps that last sentence sounds like I’m not looking forward to Summer With The Children.

Well, of course I am. What kind of monster do you take me for? What mom doesn’t look forward to kids foraging the cabinets through the night only to leave your kitchen looking like a mob of rabid raccoons ransacked it during the wee hours? Or eagerly anticipate dragging their lazy bums out of bed every day and forcing them to take a shower sometime before 3 p.m? Or the fighting that is a natural by-product of four siblings who aren’t used to spending 24/7 on the same piece of real estate?

Yeah, baby. I’m SO looking forward to that.

So let me ask……What kind of routines do you girls have in the summer months? Are you Devil May Care or do you have some guidelines for keeping the family sane? I’d love to hear your plans because I’ve got nothing.

I’d love to hang around but I have to go to Field Day. Apparently there was a May Day without something planned so we’ve decided to feed the kids sugar and then line them up to race.

It’s how we do the Derby in Alabama.

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

As if I have time for any incapacitation whatsoever, it now appears I can add vertigo to the list of ghosts in my machine. After some quality internet self-diagnosis and advice from my FaceBook friends, my conclusion is either A: I’m having inner ear issues related to the floating death called pollen that is coating everything here, or B: I’ve Shredded too much and gotten dehydrated. That may not be the case, but it sounds like a good reason to take a couple days off from it. I finished through Day Ten and can I just say that even though Jillian is a beast, the woman can flat get results. I’ve already lost a couple pounds and several inches and feel quite a bit stronger – except for the fact I can’t stand up without falling over. She may kill me but dern if I won’t look buff in the casket.

In other news, I have to tell y’all the coolest thing we are doing as a family during our nightly devo times. I have struggled to find a family devotional that is appropriate for both Luke and me as well as the kids. I think I mentioned the other day that I’d been sent the Fireproof Bible Study to review and included was The Love Dare. As I began reading through it, I realized, “WOW! This could be so easily adapted for families!”

I don’t know if your crew is like mine, but can I admit that sometimes we need to reboot? Just shut it all down and start over? Our lives are crazy stressed and it is common for us all to be grumpy, impatient, and generally unloving towards one another. Luke and I have been re-writing the lessons in The Love Dare to apply to the kids – as well as ourselves – and tweaking The Dares. I can honestly say that after only a few days there has been a marked changed in the atmosphere in our home. Praise Jesus.

I’ve laughed my head off at the kids’ interpretations of The Dares. Day One’s task is simply not to say anything negative. We also added, ‘No Retaliation’. Apparently the boys think that is a license to be silently annoying until the point a brother/sister is ready to lose his/her mind. At the breaking point, the offender will sing-song, “Remember…Nooo Retaliatioooooooon.” Obviously, Luke and I are learning we are having to write a lot of qualifiers into The Dares.

An example would be on Random Act of Kindness Day. Each kid was assigned another for whom they would have to do something nice. {Boy Two – the fabulously witty one – asked his assigned brother, “Would you like Roses or Carnations, darling brother?” He’s funnier accidentally than I could ever hope to be on purpose.} Here’s where another qualifier comes into play. Boy Three – The Stinker – was in a foul mood this morning so we’ve now added that if you are being unkind to a sibling, you have to do forced Random Acts for the person you’ve wronged. His list currently includes making his sister’s bed two days in a row and cleaning my toilet.

Man, I love this.

Okay, it’s time to gently lay the computer aside and try to do household chores that don’t involved bending over, turning my head from side to side, or getting up. So basically, I’m going to sit on the couch and catch up on movie watching. And write in some more failure clauses into the Love Dare: Family Edition that will benefit my inability to do housework.

I’m sunk if the kids start getting the point in all this.

Y’all have a Happy Tuesday!

We Are Totally Tied

My Girl came home from school today with an important announcement:

“CRIMSON (her bff) TAUGHT ME TO TIE MY SHOES, MOMMY!” {And yes, she told me in all caps.}

Why is it my first reaction was to feel like a loser mom because another Kindergartener taught my child to tie shoes? Geesh. Do we women ever exhaust our list of insecurities?

I got over my brief session of self-degradation and told her what a wonderfully brilliant child she was to have learned such a complicated thing. And with that, the tying commenced. She pulled out every laced shoe in the house and proceeded to demonstrate.

What I didn’t anticipate is that The Girl had taken her tying skillz to the next level. I’m talking Masters Degree here with a few hours towards her Doctorate. Not only can she flat out make a bunny-eared bow, she can Triple Tie. Ask me how I know? It took me 20 minutes to get them undone so I could get my shoes on this morning. I would have taken a picture for you but then that would require my finding a camera, putting batteries in it, snapping the picture and uploading it all so you could see a hot mess of a knot. So visualize with me, will you?

But, the tying didn’t end there. Do you ever have those days of recurring themes? Get a load of this. While The Girl was tying shoes, she informed me that she also TIED for class favorites with who else, her bff Crimson. She was so excited that they got to share the honor. I asked her if she voted for herself or Crimson and she acted like I was the devil for even entertaining the thought. She said, “Mommy, who would ever vote for their selfs anyway?”

Ummmm. I don’t know? I can’t imagine anyone ever doing such a horrible thing.


What’s more, while she and I were having this conversation, the phone rang. Want to know who was calling? My son’s bff: TY.


I would tell you I’m going to put on my tye-dyed shirt and do some TaiBo but that would be a lie.

But lie rhymes with tie.

It’s SO time for me to say goodbye.

(You’re Welcome)

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