Insane ByLaws and A Few More of My Favorite Things

I wanted to take a minute to thank all of you who have responded to the latest Married to the Ministry Survey. I am learning so much from your comments. I think I was most stunned by the Preacher Wife requirements actually being included in the church by-laws. Are you kiddin’ me, Cindy? That may have been enough to break the whole being silent in church rule cause I’d be staging me a protest over that one.

Oh, I kid.


I’ll be responding more fully in the next day or so but honestly, it’s Friday night and my brain is tired. That may have something to do with the fact I had to go to WalMart today. I don’t know if it’s my age creeping in on me but I can scarce make it through that place any more without breathing into a brown paper bag, whether there be square dancing competitions going on or not.

I was completely annoyed today because there were three , count them THREE, things that are my favorite things which WalMart appears to not be stocking any longer. Don’t you just hate that? It never fails as soon as I find some little thing I really like that it is discontinued. Really, people. I don’t ask for much in life so is it so bad to be disappointed when my great yogurt or cleaning supply suddenly goes MIA?

Just to give you an idea of what I’m talking about, here’s my list of sadness:

1. Honey Maid Grahams 100 Calorie Packs

I absolutely love these and I can’t find them anywhere. I can’t figure out why they are the only variety to go missing since they are the healthiest choice carb/fat/sugar wise in the entire product line. Even Amazon says they are out of stock. Hopefully I can find them in the second-hand market at Big Lots so I can restock my Suburban. A girl’s got to have comfort food in the ‘Burb at all times.

2. Mr. Clean Magic Sponge Mop Head Replacement

Now someone please tell me why a store would sell a mop and within 3 months cease to sell the replacement heads? Actually, they aren’t selling the mop either. These things are AWESOME and the only thing that will really clean our laminate flooring in the bathroom. I’ll have to go back to the olden day method of getting on my hands and knees with the original Magic Sponge to scrub the floors. I can’t even tell you how much I am looking forward to that.

3. Great Value Vanilla Low Fat/Light Yogurt

So you know I’m in the First Place group at church. One of the requirements is to have 2 servings of milk daily and considering I can’t stand it, that’s a bit of a problem for me. However, if you eat a yogurt that is less than 100 calories and sugar free, it counts as a milk instead of a carb. I have become obsessed with eating vanilla yogurt with thawed frozen strawberries mixed in. Well, guess who decided they weren’t going to stock vanilla yogurt anymore? In Great Value or Weight Watcher brand? I mean really, at this point should I take all this as a sign the Lord has removed his favor? I may be tempted to believe this if it weren’t for my number four.

4. Bama Salsa

Girls, I’m telling you there is no better store bought salsa to be had than the Collegiate brand. My WalMart was out of it for several weeks and I literally became despondent. However, in what could be no less than a work of the Holy Spirit on my behalf it showed up on the shelves again today. That almost made up for numbers 1-3.

I said almost.

So what about you girls? Do you have any favorite stuff that you can no longer find in your neck of the woods? Did you find a replacement or have you continued to long for that which you can not have?

(And for the record, I don’t think that’s sinnin’ one little bit.)

Have a great weekend!

Fashion Stalker

I had a conversation with a friend the other day who happened to mention she liked the outfit I was wearing. “I wish I could pick out clothes like you” she said. Obviously, she had no idea how shopping-impaired I really am. I thought I would repost this from the WordPress Archives just for her….Here you go, C. :)

I went out of style in the Spring of 1989. This is when I graduated high school and the last time I was confident I was still “all that”. Let me be clear that my style was cutting edge. You would never catch me dead in “sweatpants”.. Oh no, ma’am, I had paisley pants because that is what Prince and his entourage wore and everyone knew they were chic – pronounced the French way. Tennis shoes were also out of the question. I wore pumps, in every color, with blingy shoe jewels attached all over. Oh yes, I had it goin’ on.

Four children and a Suburban will just suck all the coolness out of a girl. I am also completely sure no one in our church would appreciate having a pastor’s wife who wears paisley pants and shoe jewels and yet I still gravitate toward funky clothes. The problem comes for me in balancing funkiness with age and vocation appropriateness. At one point in my preacher-wife life, I began wearing little sweaters with birdies and kitty kats embroidered on them because that is what other preacher wives I knew were wearing at the time. Nothing wrong with this except I was in my early 20’s and looked like I had raided an elderly school teacher’s closet. Since this look did not work out for me, I have been on a continuing quest ever since to find my own signature preacher-wife style. This ongoing conundrum most often leaves me in Kohl’s (’cause Hello?!…It is the best store EVER) with my head ticking and a little sliver of drool running down my chin. Hence my new shopping strategy: I stalk women who appear to have keen fashion abilities.

I hit the jackpot on this last trip. I saw an adorable girl about my age who had on a fetching denim jacket with some print pants and a silky shirt a la John Travolta. (The shirt? ToDieFor). It passed both the age and appropriate-for-a-preacher-wife test so, I zoomed in on her with my cell phone and took a photo of her from behind the makeup counter I innocently took a mental note of the elements of her outfit. I returned to the clothing racks, retrieved the ingredients and voila! Masterpiece! I made sure she did not see me check out with her outfit in my hands because really, ya’ll, I just didn’t want to go home in a police car.

You should also know I suffer from Limited Imagination Syndrome. If I find something I like, I buy the same thing in different colors. Which is what I did Friday. Two Jackets. Two silky shirts. Two colors. Oy. So if you see me this week and I look strikingly similar to a previous day, that would be because I am dressed the same, except not. Just consider it my new preacher-wife uniform. And if it happens to look like one of your outfits – just receive it as a compliment. I promise I won’t hurt you.

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