It would be so awesome if I could tell you I’m ready to break the streak of boring but truth is we’ve been working at the Pee Wee football Jamboree all day and I’m ridiculously exhausted so I’ve laid myself up in bed to enjoy an evening of House Hunters.  Yes, hubs and I are both HGTV junkies.  Luke is the only straight man I know that can define ‘focal point’.   On this episode of HH, a couple is looking for a green home and this real estate agent is trying to sell them on a particular house because it has high efficiency light bulbs. Yep. I’m certain they will pick it now.  Oh, wait.  Just found out this house also doesn’t have polyurethane finish on the floors that emit those pesky toxic fumes.  That’s a plus. Now we’ve arrived at the climax of the show when we learn whether they buy the Non-Green home in order to remodel it using green features.  Which begs the question, if you renovate and throw away all the non-green stuff, isn’t that in effect being non-green?  Wouldn’t it be less wasteful to keep the old stuff?  These are the things that I think about.  

As for houses, ours is coming right along.  We are painting and putting in flooring this week.  The process has been relatively simple but it’s getting a little stressful now that the finishes are going in.  I’m a horrible decision maker and I’m pretty confident our cabinet maker is ready to close up his entire shop and go out of business if he sees my face one more time.  I went into his showroom dead set on painted cabinets with a dark island and when I walked out I had stained.  We got into the parking lot and Luke said, “What in the world just happened in there?  Why did you change everything?!”  It was the pressure!  Just too much pressure!  I could discern from the cab guy that he wasn’t crazy about painted cabinets and so being the wimp I am when it comes to wanting to do what the experts consider the ‘right’ thing, I caved and picked what he liked instead of what I loved. 

I came home so disappointed, checked my emails and saw I had a blog note from my darling friend Melissa at Inspired Room. I emailed her with my dilemma and she talked me down from my stained cabinet ledge.  In short, she gave me the excellent advice of doing what I loved no matter what someone else considered the best thing.  I knew I would not love those stained cabinets so I got brave and called the guy Monday morning and asked him to make the changes.  So in essence, we just switched places on the ledge.  As horrible as I felt for doing it to him, I’m pretty sure he’ll feel better when he gets the check.

I’m looking forward to showing some pictures when the thing is done.  It really hasn’t looked much like a house until the last couple of weeks but now it’s finally beginning to look like something we may live in sometime soon.  I can’t even begin to tell you how excited our family remains.  It’s a 20 year dream that we never thought we’d be able to see happen.  God is good and the fact He orchestrated the whole thing iin the exact timing that He has isn’t lost on us one bit.

The only thing to make it any better would be for Candace Olson to come decorate the entire thing.  For free.  As of right now, most of the rooms are beige because I have no decor.  I was watching Sarah’s House the other day and was excited to find out that she was going to decorate 2 bedrooms on a budget.  Her ‘budget’ was 10,000.  For one kids’ bedroom.  I don’t think I’ve spent that much on my entire home in the last 20 years of marriage.  Let’s just say for now we are concentrating on getting in the thing and will hopefully have many happy years to work on furnishings. 

So tell me, any of you girls do any fun budget decorating lately?  I would love to see your projects! 

But only if they cost less than 10 grand.

So I did just that.  I grabbed my Bible and my devotion book where this verse was waiting.  After praying through it, I feel compelled to share it with you: 

“Oh how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear You, which You have prepared for those who trust in You, in the presence of the sons of men!  You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the plots of man; You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.”  ~Psalm 31:19-20

Sisters, I wonder who among us feels they are under attack whether it be physically or spiritually or - as is the case most of the time – both?  I wonder who among us is being consumed by urgency, strife, or whose every waking thought is captivated by this current calamity?  Is it you, girlfriend? 

I’m afraid the reality of planet Earth is that our relationships are wrought with drama, our churches torn by division, our schedules are filled to overflowing, our workplaces filled with iniquity, our families are struggling to hang on just one more day.  To beat it all, the people in whom we are supposed to find comfort are sometimes contributors to our being moody, maligned, mistreated, misunderstood.  Oftentimes, we are that contributor for someone else. (Low blow, I know.  That thought punched me  first if that makes you feel better.)    

Hear me well on this, friends, because the Lord shouted it to me this morning:  We can be wholly engaged without being wholly affected. 

What does that mean precisely? 

Pay attention to the concept of presence in the verses I just quoted you.  There are two places of presence:  one in the sight of men, the other in the secret place of God.  In thinking about how I cope under great attack or strain, I am guilty of being fully available to irritability, triteness and pettiness while God sits by patiently waiting for me to ask His input on how I should be reacting.  My other tendency is to shut down entirely, hide from the world, and talk to God but no one else. 

The astounding reality is that we can be fully available to the needs of our relationships, fully engaged in dealing with the trials of day-to-day life, fully vulnerable to wide spread attack and yet fully shielded to the affects of the toll all of these things are capable of exacting.  That doesn’t mean I check out and pretend these things don’t exhaust or hurt.  It means I choose to travel to that Pavilion of Peace and there present my mind, my emotions, my will, my reactions to the One who can restore goodness to each part. 

I need a safe place.  I need to know I can find refuge in the shadow of the wings of the Almighty until calamity has overpast. (Psalm 57:1)  But I also need to know that I can not hide and expect to glean from that season what the Lord intended to use to confirm, perfect, strengthen and establish me as a woman capable of withstanding all Satan would throw my way. 

Yes girls, we can be wholly holy.  Wholly engaged and yet not wholly affected.  That, sisters, is our word for the day.  Now I’m going to go practice it.  I hope you will, too.

It’s totally okay if you affirm the cuteness.

So, are y’all following Design Star?  Have a favorite yet?  Maybe it’s just me but so far there aren’t any standouts.  It’s much easier for me to pick out who I don’t like vs. who I do which means Nina has got to go.  I’m having a hard time seeing why the judges seem to like her style.  My 7-year-old can scribble on a wall.

Never has my inability to make decorating decisions – or any decisions period –  been more heightened than in this whole house building process.  I’ve discovered I’m like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride when it’s revealed she doesn’t even know how she likes her eggs – she just takes on the favorite of her significant other.  Even in the areas I thought I had strong opinions (i.e. the kitchen cabinets) all it takes is for Luke to say one word about liking something different and I am completely undone and second guessing whether what I like is the right thing. 

For example, I love the buttermilk cabinet look with contrasting island.  He likes the sleeker, more contemporary maples.  How do you marry those two?  Answer: you don’t.  I don’t think? (I told y’all I have no clue what I’m doing.)

So tell me, which of these kitchens would you choose? (In concept, not exact representation and keeping in mind our house is Craftsman-inspired.) Is the contrasting island thing on it’s way out? Have any tips on kitchen design that I need to know before we make our final picks?

By the way, if you are building or remodeling or just dreaming, check out www.houzz.com. You can create your own idea books from thousands of beautiful photos for every room in the house. I’m obsessed.

This is where I would like to brag that I pride myself in details and that we had everything we needed for a successful 24 hours in the woods. Instead this is where I get to tell you that I’m a Loser Mom who mostly chases her tail and is lucky if she makes it out the door with two of the same shoe.

In the last hour prior to the departure time I rushed around the house and loosely consulted the check list for those things we needed: Flashlight, check. Water bottle, check. Bug spray, check. After slinging our things together in our suitcases we dashed out the door to meet our traveling buddies, Julia and Kayli.

All was great until we got to the camp ground and went to the gift shop. I browsed around and pulled a beach towel off the shelf.   I thought to myself, “Hmmm…A beach towel…that would be a good souvenir..”  Then it hit me.  I had forgotten to bring a beach towel.  Or any towels.  Or any washcloths.  So the optional souvenir beach towel became a required purchase but since they were $12 I decided to only buy one and use my terry robe as the other because I’m cheap like that. I realized I had brought my facial cleansing cloths that we could use to shower.  I was actually proud of myself for coming up with all these random survivor tools.  It was like I was Bear Grylls living off the land when the necessities were lost in rough seas or in an arid dessert or at home in my linen closet.  

After the gift shop stop we went to the cabin to settle in.  The cabins have bunk beds with those ultra swank vinyl mattresses.  The plan was to sleep inside our cushy sleeping bags which I would place on top of the mattresses rather than only having a thin sheet separating our faces from the place where some child has most likely peed.  That is until I realized that in the switch from Suburban to church van I had not transferred  the sheets.  Oh,  but wait for it, or one of the sleeping bags.  So, in inventorying our bedding supply, we had 2 pillows, 2 blankets, and 1 sleeping bag.  I gave my girl the sleeping bag, tucked one of the blankets around my mattress to sleep on top of and then used the other for covering.  Don’t even ask me how well I slept considering the bottom blanket kept sliding down causing me to wake with my cheek stuck to plastic and that my top blanket was too short to cover my feet.  Nice.

So it was in the midst of one continuous Loser Realization after another that I realized there is the camp mom and then there is The Camp Mom.  The Mom who brings color coordinated bedding along with a throw pillow.  Who has matching t-shirts with her daughter each day.  Whose daughter wears hairbows and whose backpack is monogrammed.  Who wears white shorts and they remain pristine the entire weekend.  Who excels at the words and motions to the Unit Song and actually strives to be the Best Unit Ever.   Now before you misunderstand me, I’m not knocking these Moms.  I am in stinkin’ awe of them.  I want to be them.  My daughter wants me to be them.  I only hope she didn’t notice her mom lacks.  LACKS, I say. 

If she didn’t notice, then her friend Kayli certainly did.   We were in the bathroom together where I rummaged through my bag to find my travel toothbrush.  And rummaged through my bag to find my travel toothbrush.  And clawed apart my bag to find the travel toothbrush that I KNOW THAT I PACKED.  The only toothbrush in the bag was The Girl’s which just happened to be shaped like a crayola crayon.

So, what to do?  I couldn’t use my wash cloth on my teeth like Jessica Simpson because I didn’t stinkin’ have anything other than the facial cleansers that worked fine to wash our bodies but not so much for the mouth.  I didn’t want to use our beach towel because, ewww, who wants to dry off in spit. Multiple times I might add because it was the only towel we had. I kept eye-balling the crayola toothbrush and decided my only option was to use the hand soap and hot water to wash and scald it and then {gulp} use a toothbrush that had been in my girl’s mouth. (And no, there were none in the gift shop. And yes, I’m an idiot for ever having shared this with another living soul.) Can there be no end to the shame?

Kayli was still standing at the vanity with me and wasn’t leaving anytime soon.  I turned my back to her somewhat and started the whole cleaning of the toothbrush hoping that she wouldn’t notice what was going on.  I knew I’d give it away if she saw the handle so I closed it carefully in my hand.  She seemed oblivious to what I was doing so I got careless.  It’s then that I heard the words I had dreaded, “I’ve never seen a toothbrush that looks like a Crayon.”  Busted.  Cold, hard busted using my kid’s toothbrush by a 7 -year- old who was at this time giving me a look that let me know she knew what she was seeing but couldn’t quite comprehend it. 

I know the feeling, Kayli.  I know the feeling.

By this point I was already exhausted and desperately trying to avoid cussing myself out and we were only 4 hours in. 

I have to quit whining long enough to tell you that we had a marvelous time and the camp staff couldn’t have been any more awesome.  I have no doubt they would have tried to round me up a toothbrush but my fear was that they wouldn’t have one and then would subsequently be watching to see how I dealt with it while being grossed out no matter what I came up with.

Okay, so let me wrap this thing up with a few pictures I took of the weekend. 

1.  The Girl and Me upon arrival.  See, she barely has any teeth so maybe using her toothbrush wasn’t so icky after all.

2.  A group song.  She gets really excited about performing in front of crowds.

3. These are my favorite.  We LOVED canoeing and kayaking.  The Girl caught on quickly to how to work the oars.  It was 112 degrees that day but we had so much fun the hour we spent on the water only felt like four instead of twelve.

4.  Hiking was also an option for the day but I told the Girl the slight untruth that the trail led all the way to the top of this mountain.  Thankfully she decided we weren’t up to it. 

5.  Love it.

6. Still love it.

7. Julia and Kayli.

8.  Rose and The Girl.  Rose didn’t want me to take her picture because she thought she looked gross.  I reminded her that there will come a day when she is 40 and will realize that she was adorable at 16 and never even knew it.  She said, “Yeah, my mom says that a lot.”  And then I felt old.

9. The boys asked if we went to a terrorist camp.  In reality, we were in a culture session where we learned about the lives of muslim women.  With the way my hair and makeup looked in the humidity, the head dress didn’t seem such an awful idea.

Even with all my Loser Mom moments I can honestly say that this experience was wonderful and I can’t encourage my SBC sisters enough to try to attend an event like this at your state camp site.  

And if I can offer a word of advice?  Be diligent with your checklist.

I taught the 5th/6th Grade class which happened to include my Boy Two.  Today’s assignment was to read Philippians 4:4-9, summarize, and then share how to practically apply the scripture.

The Boy’s verse was “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”   I asked him to summarize:

Boy:  “Be anxious about everything.”

Me:  “Don’t you mean be anxious about nothing?”

Boy:  “No, the verse says to be anxious about everything.”

Me:  “How in the world do you get that?”

Boy:  “Mom (eyeroll), it says, ‘Do not be anxious about any thing, but in every thing.’  Period.  He had ‘by prayer and petition’ beginning a new verse.

So, were Two a scribe or textual critic, we wouldn’t just settle with worrying about one thing, we’d worry about it all, sisters.   We’d present our requests to God and get some peace at a later date. After the period.

Take Away:  

1. So far I’m safe in my prediction that Two will not be a theologian.  He’s still safe as a deacon though. (grin) 

2. I have a new appreciation for the jot and tittle.   And for the value of VBS.

So, in an attempt to provide some positively uninspiring thoughts for your consideration, I present the Top Five Blogs I Would Write If I Weren’t So Lazy:

1. I read magazines from back to front. I’m always disappointed when I get to the back pages only to find lots of ads and other things I don’t care about so I get that over with first. My favorite subscriptions as of late? Real Simple and Southern Living. I got both for $5/one year in an Amazon Deal of the Day. Favorite reason to read magazines: decorating ideas and recipes.

2. I lack the ability to stop the gas pump on an even dollar amount. If I go over one cent, I will try to roll to the next dollar only to go over 2 cents. And don’t even get me started on those little televisions at the Walmart Murphy stations. They place those on purpose so people like me will get distracted and pump $100 while watching sitcom commercials. Or $100.01.

3. I am insanely proud of Allison Black who represented our school and community in the Scripps National Spelling Bee this past week. She was the very first speller and opened with the word ‘serendipity’. Quite fitting for a girl who is finding joy in unexpected places after losing her precious dad, Randall, a few months ago.

4. We began Saddle Ridge Ranch Vacation Bible School Monday. I am co-teaching a 5th/6th grade class. Note to others working with this same age group: they will look at you strangely and with contempt if you ask them to yodel their memory verse.

5. The house is coming right along. Carpenters are framing the upstairs and we are supposed to have those thingies that hold the roof up by the end of the week. I’ve learned carpenters do not take a woman seriously who asks questions about the thingies that hold the roof up but thankfully this group of guys is way too sweet to make me feel badly because of it. I baked them cookies tonight to make up for having to talk to me on a regular basis.

I hope this week finds you well and hopefully blogging more intentionally than yours truly. It may sound like cheese, but I really do appreciate your coming ’round anyway.

Your notes make my day.

This is the part where I get to brag on the McKay Children who all garnered various and sundry awards confirming their academic excellence.  What a blessed woman I am to have kids who are both beautiful and brilliant. (They totally get it from their daddy.)  I mean seriously, will you look at these guys?

Boy One aka “Einstein”:  (Okay, so this picture is in his spring training football gear but my camera battery was dead on awards day.  Loser.)

Options for Future Vocation:  Apologist/Bible professor/Marine.  

Things to Consider:  He’s a brilliant thinker who loves to study the Bible. His OCD tendencies demand he read every footnote and cross-reference of every chapter.  He wants to take German next year because he likes saying the word farfegnugen. He is gentle and honest and wouldn’t hurt a fly unless that fly is his 10 year old brother.  He takes 34 minute showers and sleeps on top of his comforter so he doesn’t have to make his bed.  He will do anything you ask of him as long as the request is doled out in concise, step-by-step instructions.    

My Prediction:   Theologian.  If I get my way he will attend Bible college at Moody.  He first balked at the idea of living in the big city but then watched the Food Network and decided Chicago food looked awesome.  He loves the idea of structure in the Marines but I’m confident he would never be able to meet the 7 minute deadline of being showered and standing at the end of your perfectly-made bunk nor have the intestinal fortitude to snap an enemy’s neck.  So, harmless Bible professor it is.

Boy Two aka “Squid”: 

Options for Future Vocation:   Pastor/Skateboarder/Hacky-Sacker

Things to Consider:  You can always count on this one for quippy one-liners.  The latest?  I had to take him for a haircut fresh after a workout and apologized to him for looking so gross.  Him:  “That’s okay, Mom. I look good enough for both of us.”  I’m pretty sure he meant it.  He says he doesn’t belong in the country – he belongs in L.A.  I wish I could say he doesn’t but I think he’s pretty dead on.  He’s got a smile that could light up this whole town. (Taylor!)  He loves his friends and the last time I heard, they loved him too.  He is undercover compassionate and the most likely to be caught being sweet to his little sister.

My Prediction:  Pastor.  But not just any pastor.  He’ll be a skateboarder/hakky-sacking pastor in one of those non-denominational churches that make a good Southern Baptist sweat.  I should make it clear that he doesn’t want to be a preacher.  He says it’s way too boring.  He really doesn’t know what he wants yet so it is entirely up to me to lead, guide, and direct until the Lord takes over. 

Boy Three aka ‘Bo’

Options for Future Vocation: Evangelist/UFC Fighter

Things to Consider: Firstly, I did not jack up his bangs. His hair is growing out from an unfortunate burr he requested a few months back. Bo is a charismatic kid who is both a leader and a follower depending on who had the most dangerous idea first. Loves to be the center of attention. Is competitive and totally invested in whatever sport he is playing at the time and is unconsolable if his team loses. Drinks straight from a 2 liter coke and will put it back in the fridge for the next unsuspecting sibling. Is a Mama’s boy and always wants to cuddle when he gets tired though he would die if he know I just told you that.

My Prediction:  Evangelist/UFC Fighter.   He will be able to blow in, blow off, and blow out of a church without suffering the repercussions of relationship.  If anyone messes with him or dares not believe the message, I’m warning you now:  duck and cover for he will come off the top rope on you.  Gives slain in the Spirit a whole new twist. 

And finally,

The Girl aka, “The Girl”

Options for Future Vocation: Diva, Philanthropist

Things to Consider:Extremely independent. Loves her American Girl doll because she looks ‘just like her’ which by default makes it the most beautiful one in the world. Is sickeningly fascinated with her daddy. Loves to read. Begs daily for a horse. Begged daily for a rabbit which her daddy caved and bought her and yet now goes largely unnoticed. (The rabbit, not the daddy.) Does not like to be tired, bored, or sweaty which pretty much rules out any and all outdoor activity from May through October. Has a tender heart when it comes to those who are hurting but will quickly change the subject rather than talk about it. An unfortunate trait she inherited from her mother. A nail polish connoiseur.

My Prediction: A Humanitarian – as long as that can be done in such a way as to not get too tired, bored or sweaty and in a place where manicures are readily available.   Perhaps she can just move to Chicago with her brother and keep his dorm clean and him well-fed and there meet her future preacher husband.   Or at the very least a dentist who can take care of her snaggle teeth.

I do hope you realize this was written very tongue in cheek. In all seriousness – these kids are my life and I’m so very humbled the Lord would entrust Luke and me with these fascinating individuals whose futures are already decided in the heavenlies. I can’t think of a higher place of privilege than on the sidelines watching and coaching as their precious lives unfold.

“Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.”

Psalm 127:3-5 The Message

One of the major things on my list was to get all the clean clothing from the laundry room into the respective kids’ closets and drawers.  That is a little difficult when a certain little girl has way too many clothes and her loser mom has yet to change out her winter wardrobe.  In a surprise move, my little daughter offered to clean out her chest so we could make room for her summer stuff.  When I went in to her room tonight to make ready for bedtime, this is what I found:

She made two neat stacks and labeled them accordingly: 

“to little.”

“don’t like.” 

And that was it.  No “I’ll keep these until I lose 5 lbs.” or “This might come back in style if I keep it long enough.”  I love the simplicity of it.

And the innocence of this makes me smile and tear up at the same time:

My darlin’ child happily playing with her American Girl “Just Like Me” doll after a job well done.

I am verklempt.

Again.

(Shocking, I know.)