Clergy Appreciation Awareness – A PSA
There are lots of reasons to love October – the cooler temperatures, the beautiful trees, and high school/SEC football. (Now that my Dawgs beat the Vols I can say that with more gusto.) For the minister’s family, October also means Clergy Appreciation Month and in the words of my friend Fran, I’m praising the high heavens for whomever thought of such a wonderful concept.
The church we serve hands down sets the gold standard for Pastor Appreciation. I have to preface this by saying that Luke and I have always been very uncomfortable having attention or flattery showered on us. We are grateful, and I mean GRATEFUL, for all the expressions of love our people give our family, but we feel awkward at the same time. Our worst fear EVER would be that anyone would think we are expecting to be appreciated.
But on the flip side of that, you have no idea what it means to us when someone takes the time to organize a month’s calendar of meals in addition to a grocery day (a.k.a. a ‘pounding’ in the South. I have enough toilet paper to last 6 months. WIN.), a housewarming shower day (I got a mezzuzah! Luke thinks I’m weird for wanting one), a visiting preacher giving Luke the service off followed by a church-wide dinner day, and then a friends and family day. I”m exhausted just typing it all. Thankfully it doesn’t matter if I’m tired because did you hear what I just said? I don’t have to cook for a month!
Now I’m not telling you all this to brag. Rather it is because many ministry wives have written to me in the past and said their churches do absolutely nothing for them for Clergy Appreciation. Nada. As in it is is never even mentioned. I can hear the discouragement in the precious e-mails – it’s not that you girls expect to be appreciated just like we don’t, but it sure stings a little when you aren’t. That’s not to say your churches are unkind, but it’s like a birthday – everyone deserves at least one day per year to be made much over.
The reasons I am writing these things are several. First, I want to publicly brag on our congregation and thank each and every one of you for being so extravagant with us. You have never lacked in zeal but your expressions in these days have reached a pitch we didn’t know possible. I can confidently say our Love Tanks are full and that we serve the best church EVER. Secondly, if you are a layperson consider this a friendly PSA to make certain you do something special for your ministers and their spouses this month. The benefits to you both will far outweigh the investment. And if you already have, how about telling us how you’ve celebrated their families to give ideas to others? And lastly ministry wives: Has your church acknowledged Clergy Appreciation? What are some of the things they have done for you and what effect does it have on your family?
One last quick note: October 12th’s Chris Fabry Live at 3 p.m. CST will be talking about Clergy Appreciation. I’m thrilled out of my mind to be a guest along with Karen Waddles. I hope you girls will call in and join the discussion!
(Another shameless p.s. If you are looking for a little something to gift your PW, she may enjoy this or even better, send them both here :)
I love ya Lisa McKay!! I am proud to call you friend.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 7:35 am
Ditto Guido. :)
WOW!!!!! That is some kind of amazing. A whole months worth of meals. You guys have a fantastic congregation! =)
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 7:36 am
Yes ma,am, we do!!!! :)
We are in the process of planting a church. Our current congregation consists mainly of people who are new to church and probably have no idea that clergy appreciation month exists. So I’m honestly not expecting anything. But that’s OK. We know they appreciate us because they are coming!
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 7:38 am
Sister…you need to gently suggest they come read this site so they can be educated on it..lol However, you sound like Luke and me. The fact the people are coming and pouring their lives into your church is enough! :)
My hubby & I just recently loaded up a U-Haul, left the South, and moved almost 1,600 miles to Idaho. The hubs has been a paid pastor for ONE whole month. What has surprised us most about this transition is how loving & attentive our new church body has been. They cleaned our new home and welcomed us with food & gift cards to local restaurants. Within the last month, we’ve also received fresh corn, plums, and nearly 100 lbs of potatoes (we are definitely in Idaho now…and I need to use my treadmill for something other than hanging laundry). Someone fixed the heater in my hubby’s old pickup, so we don’t freeze to death in the winter. We have several dinner dates on the books for pastor appreciation month. ONE month. Not enough time for us to have done anything to deserve such lavish love…but, plenty of time for us to have fallen in love with our flock.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 7:39 am
Their ain’t nothing better than being appreciated in food! Sounds like you have a wonderful church..:)
They had my husband stand up to recognize him right before a Voter’s Assembly, and then promptly cut his benefits during the Voter’s Assembly.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 7:40 am
Oh honey…I’m so sorry. That just stinks. Praying Psalm 103 over you and that you will ‘forget not His benefits’..
We are serving in a church for our 12th year. This is our second time at this church. The first time we were there 6 1/2 years. My husband is a wonderful preacher and a very loving and encouraging pastor. In all these years we have never received anything for Clergy Appreciation, anniversary, nor birthday. We have one sweet couple that send us a card every year and this year they didn’t even do that. It is somewhat discouraging when all around other churches are expressing their appreciation in such eloquent ways. That is when you have to remember why you are in the ministry – because God called you, not the people.
I am very thankful that your church and the churches of so many of our friends do remember this special time.
“That is when you have to remember why you are in the ministry – because God called you, not the people.”
I know this is so true but that doesn’t take away the sting. I’m praying an individual’s heart in your fellowship will be compelled to change this for your family. Much love to you sister!
Our church is buying furniture for our pastor’s man cave at home. In church we are just calling it a Pastoral retreat in his home. lol Last year they sent he and his wife to the beach while G and I babysat their 3 children. The year before that they bought him a car. I say all of that because we are a small church and I think every church should do something for their pastor’s during this time. I am sad for those pastor’s and their wives who do not get recognized. :(
On another note, blech on the game. My Vols stinketh (KJV) up the place.
Love ya!
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Luke would be so happy with a furnished man cave..lolol What a thoughtful gift!
And I’m sorry about your Vols. Y’all beat us last year so we are even now..:)
Patty Reply:
October 21st, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Lol!! I guess we are even. My Vols need a miracle for this Saturday. lol This Saturday and a few years to come. :)
My husband has been the pastor of our wonderful church for 7 years now. We consider October the beginning of our “holiday season”!
There’s a beautifully decorated table in our foyer filled with “Jars of Joy” – one jar for each minister and his wife. Our sweet congregation drops hundreds of handwritten notes into our jars which we then we get to take home to slowly savor and be totally and completely encouraged.
Being a good Texan, my husband has a favorite barbecue restaurant that all church members are well aware of. By the end of the holidays, we have so many gift cards to this particular restaurant, that we almost never have to actually pay for food ourselves. Which of course makes the brisket taste that much better!
And we are given so many sweet treats that I have to invite neighbors over to share in the goodies!
And every January, I have to lose the same 5 pounds that keep finding me!
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I LOVE that idea about the jars! Well done church people, well done!
Our church is looking for a pastor and my husband, a retired pastor still in ministry, is the interim pastor. I’m sure that they will not even think about Pastor appreciation month being here but churches we have been at years past have done some things for us.
I marvel when people do such great things for their pastor’s and think that God is blessing them in great ways. It was interesting to see all of the notes about what has been done for them. Lisa, thank you for your ministry.
We have always been in small churches and struggled financially but… in one church two different people paid our way to Hawaii plane wise and that was a wonderful blessing. I always tell young pastor’s wives that are struggling financially that God will bless them, maybe not a trip to Hawaii, and there is more to it than just that, but that was a dream for me come true at 45 yrs married and again at 50 yrs married.
God blesses in different ways. We know that we will be rewarded in Heaven.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Amen sister… Hawaii would definitely fill up my love tank for a Loooonng time..lol
Wow! What a great church you serve. It sounds like you already know this… what a great tribute this is to your wonderful family in the faith.
We love our church. But I’m like some of the others commenting here… even though our local Christian radio station is advertising the snot out of Clergy Appreciation Month – we’ve seen NOTHING. I don’t expect anything… we never have. Guess it’s a good thing since we’ve never received anything.
I must admit – this was hard to read. Hard to not long for such a giving congregation. We struggle for our people to give enough to pay salaries and church bills.
Would it be shameful to make a Facebook post reminding everyone one?! Probably. So I won’t. I’m like the FBC Lady. We just focus on our calling, we serve as unto the Lord and most importantly, “He exalts those we humble themselves”.
I’ve learned recently from a Bible Study on Ruth that the Lord lifts those who are bowing low. Ruth was redeemed while gleaning!!! So, in these days of ministry, I just continue to bow low, pick up the “barley that’s on the ground” – knowing that my Lord will redeem me!
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 14th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Sweet Penny, what a wonderful outlook. I absolutely loved the visual you shared about Ruth. Praying the Lord redeems 100 fold what you’ve been so willing to go without. Every single one of you women are so much on my heart – rejoicing with you and appreciating you from here in Alabama.
Nothing. Nada. Glad we’re at least not getting a pay cut. I know I don’t deserve anything, but my husband pours himself into our church. I wouldl love for him to at least get a card.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 17th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
I know, Donna. I’m so sorry. Like I’ve said before, please know I am praying for you girls that someone in your congregation will have heard all the promotion and their hearts will be pierced to do something to acknowledge your service. A minister is worthy of double honor! :)
We have never been on the receiving end of Clergy Appreciation Month, and in fact, our first year at this church (8 years ago), we didn’t receive so much as a Christmas cookie during the holidays!
Of course, as has been said, no one (should) go into the ministry for earthly rewards, but a word of appreciation would be oh-so-welcome!
Thankful that your church has been such a blessing to you and your family!!