Such a Pain in the Neck


So it’s been a week.

It started out Tuesday night when a certain daughter whose name begins with “Syd” and ends with “Ney” decided to crawl into bed with me and Luke and sleep with her elbows and knees firmly planted into all my internal organs.  After a long night of wrestling, instead of walking away with a limp I woke up with a crick in my neck and no blessing.

It was uncomfortable for the next couple of days but not incapacitating which was good because, hello, my name is Lisa and I do not have time for this. Fast forward to Thursday morning when the house is in full throttle.  Luke and I are rushing to get ourselves and the kids ready so we can drop them at school and drive to Huntsville for a pastor’s breakfast with David Jeremiah. (DAVID JEREMIAH!)  I jumped in the shower and while I was washing my hair I threw my head back and threw my neck out.  And when I say out I’m talking out-out.  As in take your breath away, can’t turn the head in any direction or lift your arms to rinse the shampoo out of your hair – out.  I always dreamed that if I were to suffer such an injury it would be while hiking the Himalayas or during a covert spy operation in which I am Sydney Bristow diving into a swimming pool from a ten-story balcony.  Not getting ready for a scrambled egg and bacon breakfast buffet.  Turning 40 is proving to be the lamest, most painful thing I’ve done to date.  I don’t recommend it.

So, somehow I got dressed and dried my hair without lifting my arms above shoulder level and I may have cried one or thirteen times in the process.  Luke tried to talk me into staying home but I don’t think it was so much my pain but his embarrassment at my robot moves and his having to carry my 37 lb. purse.  I was not to be deterred from listening to Dr. Jeremiah though.  Lucky for Dr. J I wasn’t feeling up to standing in the book-signing line to say hello to him or it could have been a repeat of the unfortunate Johnny Hunt incident.  Luke is not a wait-for-an hour-to-get-a-book-signed-and-have-your-picture-made-with-anyone type of guy so the only photo I have from the morning is from my seat and pathetic.  I’m certain Dr. J was disappointed we never got to make eye contact but I have a feeling it’s because he knew craning around the gigantic speaker could mean disaster for his neck.  Some things are just too risky.

As for the breakfast, it was so very good.  Dr. J spoke on the Anatomy of a Vision and even though it was geared towards pastors, it was very relevant for some things going on in my life.  One of the most impactful things he said was that a true vision or call is not waylaid by naysayers.  I needed to be reminded of that because it only takes one person whose affirmation I seek telling me I stink or dismissing me altogether to make me want to quit.  Anyone else?

In case you have made it this far, my neck is getting much better and even though several people have insisted I visit a chiropractor I must admit I have a completely unfounded fear of them.  Plus I’m afraid I’ll get addicted to needing adjusted on a regular basis and if I were to set weekly cash aside it would definitely be for Home Health to come by and wash my hair thereby doing away with my need for the chiropractor.

I wish I had some witty wrap up but it is late and I’ve just realized that Sydney has fallen fast asleep beside me in bed.  And so has Luke.  Which means there’s no one to carry her big bohunkus to bed.  I certainly can’t because have I mentioned I hurt my neck?

All of this can only mean one thing….

Luke is just going to have to find somewhere else to sleep.