Mom: The Hater of Small Children and Puppies
After our church’s Easter Service, The Preacher, myself, and the 4 kids went to the in-law’s about an hour away for a good ‘ole Southern Easter Lunch. It was a wonderful afternoon complete with Fruit Pizza (my favorite dessert ever), an egg hunt, and 8 new puppies my sis in law is trying to give away. That is when the trouble began.
The children fell in love with one of the puppies. Now, never mind they have a beagle at home that is the sweetest animal that ever lived which never gets the attention or food she deserves. Nope, they want something a little fresher, a little cuddlier. Needless to say, the preacher and I said a swift “no way” as we proceeded to load the kids in the Suburban to head back home.
We got into the car to the sound of wailing like has never been heard outside of a Middle Eastern funeral…so if you need paid mourners at your next graveside event, I have just the kids for you. Squid and Big Daddy (#2 boy(9 yrs) and #3 boy (7 yrs) lost their ever-loving minds over not getting to take home a puppy. The conversation that followed was something like this:
Big Daddy: (through screaming and crying) You are just a FAKER. You said you thought those puppies were cute. If you thought they were cute, you’d let us have one. Since you didn’t, you don’t think they are cute so you are a FAKER.
Me: (stunned silence as I stare at the Preacher for help)
Squid: (In the best Nancy Kerrigan WHY cries ever) Whyyyyy won’t you let us have one??? WHHHYYYYY???? We play with Daisy (the beagle) all the time…YOU KNOW THAT WE DO!!!
Me and Preacher: (equally speechless, staring at each other with mouths dropped open at this point)
Big Daddy: YOU DO NOT LOVE US AT ALL! YOU JUST SAY YOU DO BUT YOU ARE FAKING!
Okay, there are a couple of responses that would have been appropriate here:
Number One: A good ole fashion butt bustin’ for all the parent dissin’ going on, or possibly
Number Two: A theological speech on gratitude for what we have instead of grief over that which we do not.
At the risk of showing my continued qualification for membership in the ‘Loser Mom’ club, I must tell you we chose options three and four.
Three: Make a cell phone video of your children acting like total morons and text it to sis in law to thank her for offering the puppies to the children and let her laugh with us over all the wailing going on..:)) (It’s okay LB, really..haha) -and-
Four: Turn on the song by Toby Mac “Stories- We all Got Em” Sing at the top of your lungs to drive your children crazy while doing the hand motions when appropriate. The song goes like this:
Big Daddy is throwing Easter eggs at the Preacher and me (while we are laughing hysterically)from the very, very back seat of the Suburban while he is yelling, “you don’t love us and you just fake it all!!!”
Squid is kicking the back of the seats hollering, “leave us alone…ya’ll are so mean!!! You know I play with Daisy and I feed her when you aren’t looking!”
Princess (baby girl – 4 years) is pleading in her princessy voice “could everyone just be quiet? My ears are hurtin’ back here!”
Einstein (oldest boy – 11 years) Dodging flying easter eggs as he sits in silence contemplating what has just happened in our vehicle.
So for those of you who are saying, “surely those kids got a whoopin'” …Oh yeah, and bed early too. I should also say on my kids’ behalf this behavior was totally uncharacteristic of them which is why we were totally blown away about what to do…But I thought I’d share so the next time you are driving down the road in relative silence, you could think of our car rides and say a prayer of thanks for what it could be like…
I know there are spiritual implications crawlin’ all over this..I was frankly too tired to connect all the dots…Feel welcome to do that in the comments..:))
Have a great Monday!
Oh dear puppies have that effect on people dont they
LOL bless your daughter
You dont they dont really mean it dont you. Its just cause they didnt get their way but that happens a lot in life
pleased you were united both you and your hubby and consistent
Keep up the good work you are doing of parenting your family
I am very impressed with both of you. I just knew you were gonna say you had one more mouth to feed at your house. I have always been good at saying NO, it was the sticking to it part that I have trouble with. For example, we have three dogs. You know how my little girl feels about dogs. Maybe Big Daddy and his girl buddy can have a dog orphanage someday. Haha.
Too much Easter excitement that ended in melt downs? That’s what happened in our house. It was ugly. We do number 4 too, but it’s usually to The Wiggles. You’re lucky of you get Toby Keith.
Ahhh, Easter memories!
That was great, thanks.
hahahahahahahaha! oh, happy easter. i might have thrown a couple of those in my time. im sure my parents are glad im out of that phase. i thought it was handled well.
Oh, I love this story! And I’m sure my day is coming with my two kiddos! But what a good laugh to start my day! Thanks for sharing!!
I thought this story was so funny! I felt like I was there with you watching this whole show unfold :) I could see this happening with our kids. Thank you for sharing! I loved it.
What mean unloving parents you are…Oh wait maybe that it is me that is mean and unloving because I WOULD DO THE SAME THING. When there is arguing in the car and I had had enough. I BLARE (LIKE THE CAR IS THUMPING) “Blessed Be Your Name”. How can you listen to blessed be your name and be pouting and arguing. YOU CAN’T.
Love this story!!!!!
I just found your blog last night, and I’m glad I did! I got a good, hearty laugh from this story!
Thanks for sharing. And I’ll definitely remember that turn-up-the-music-and-act-like-crazy-people trick next time my 3-year-old needs some shaking up in the car…
Lisa, you handled your puppy incident with a lot more finesse than I did. I can afford to laugh because my “kids” are now in their early thirties, but I remember being part of a conniving plan to trick my husband into agreeing to adopting an adorable pup.
I borrowed the pup from our neighbor and the kids and I took it home to meet their daddy. It hopped on his lap, licked his cheek, and they started dancing around, shrieking “Look, Daddy…it LIKES you!” The moment he patted it on its head, they hollered, “Look, Mama! He LOVES it! Can we keep him?”
He said no for about ninety seconds.
I should have sang something with hand motions but we ended up with that crazy mutt and guess who got to housetrain it (in snowy Germany, where we lived three floors up)? Served me right.
Oh. My. Word. That was roll on the floor laughing hysterical!! Good to you for sticking to your guns!
And I am with Laurel…you can’t sing Blessed Be Your Name outloud and be hacked off. :)
I am sure you gave them the “what we have to be grateful for” speech…I have said that one often and my boo is only going to be 3!!!
Oh my goodness!! That sounds like our house. My husband and I react to our childrens’ shenanigans the same way. It can be fun to drive them crazy and let them know what they sound like. Our children are a little older; 17, 15 and 11 – so they just shake their heads and roll their eyes at us when we get too silly for them.
That is hilarious and so dramatic!
Allow me to introduce myself–I’m Gretchen, mean mom of the Northwest. It’s nice to meet a kindred spirit! Seriously, we do the best we can when we can, and don’t even get holidays off. I love your sense of humor with The Preacher. We try that tack at times, too…and even if it doesn’t exactly work it diffuses the moment and allows the offspring to live a bit longer. Take care.
You are adorable. This story could be mine – minus the preacher as a husband *grin*.
I think I was just like this when I was a kid. Delightful.
Also, stopped over because you are featured at Laced With Grace. Blessings, Lynn
It’s nice to see that you all had a nice, peaceful Easter like we did!
I shouldn’t giggle, because it is not always funny in the moment. Although sometimes when it is all so ridiculous, you have to do exactly what you did, turn up the music and sing. It sounds like tired kids, long weekend, the Preacher just gave an Easter message in which I am sure lives were ministered to and decisions for Christ were made….need I say more. :)
Ahhh, good! Your family’s not perfect. Whew!
This was hysterical for us to read, thought not for you to experience. Thanks for sharing your “Easter” moment!
awwwww, c’mon poor daisy needs someone to play with! Even though Squid plays with her…YOU KNOW HE DOES!…lol
Nuthin’ like a meltdown to say “Happy Easter!”…good for you, stickin’ to your story on no more puppies…kids just LOVE to play the guilt card…at least, mine do…so I stopped playin’ cards a looonnnngggg time ago:-)
You had me at “best Nancy Kerrigan why cries ever”!!! Loved the whole post. Thanks for the laugh, sista!
I just found your blog through a friend’s and this story almost made me fall off the chair laughing. I think because I can relate soooo much. My children, as sweet as they can be, have shocked my husband and I a time or two for sure! Great blog. I must come back soon.