If you hang around here much you know we just got back from a Big People Vacation. No children’s menus or trips to the arcade allowed. Now I love my kids and missed them terribly while we were away but today’s Public Service Announcement advocates the importance of couple time in marriage – especially when your kids are small.
I can’t tell you the number of moms I know who refuse to leave their children even for a single night. If you are one of those, I’m not criticizing! Your reasons are noble and no doubt, you are fantastic mothers. But – I have also seen many marriages crumble because the husband-wife relationship was neglected in favor of the focusing entirely on the kids from infancy through the teenage years. I’ve had moms tell me, “My husband just needs to understand! They’ll be grown before we know it!” My experience has shown this: They never need you any less, just in different ways. The wake-up call comes when the kids are gone and the man and wife realize they hardly know one another anymore.
Now before you write me ugly letters, I hope you are hearing my heart on this. My children are the center of practically every activity my husband and I are involved in but they perceive one critical thing: Luke and I are united in their raising and discipline. They know our family is blessed because of them but that we do not play favorites or duke it out to make sure they are kept happy. In a world that teaches kids “It’s all about me”, the most loving thing we can do for our children is to let them know from very early on that the universe does not revolve around them. Jacob and Rachel serve as just one of many Biblical examples.
With that said, please know I am not setting myself before you as the model of wife and motherhood. I blow it every single day! But, I do hope you truly consider feeding your soul and your child’s independence by a husband-wife getaway if at all possible. If not, don’t phooey away the notion of date nights. They are VITAL and will nourish your marriage and/or spiritual health in ways you can’t perceive until you’ve made this practice commonplace.
I’m a better wife and mother when I’ve taken a break…you will be, too.
And of course you know I’ve always got to ask you girls what you think….
* Do you have regular times away with your husband?
* Have a hard time with leaving the kids behind?
* Learned this lesson the hardway?
* Don’t understand what all the fuss is about?
Let’s hear it! Just be gentle, okay?