The Pedicure – Part Two
Now that we have established I have feet issues, I shall continue the saga of The Pedicure.
I began venturing into nail salons a few months back because I wanted to have my nails done before a speaking thing. I’m a hand talker so the thoughts of waving my boy nails in front of a room full of darlin’ girls with adorable handbags and fresh mani-pedi’s was a little intimidating. I know I’ve harped all about the ‘Beautiful in the Eyes of God‘ thing and yes, I do believe it. But, God is not evaluating/comparing my externals at even a fraction of the energy with which a room full of women use on one another.
Don’t you dare act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.
With that said, I wanted to look as put together as possible. There are many salons in the area and I could have gone anywhere to have my nails done but I’m not a very good appointment girl. You give me a time I have to be somewhere and I’m destined to fail you by at least 5 minutes. Sooo, I went to the Asian Salon because I knew I could walk-in whenever and be finished quickly.
I’m just a free spirit that way.
When I walked in the Salon, my first thought when I saw a room full of women manicurists was, “Oh good, I’ll get a girl.” And then, as is my luck, one of the women shrieked a line of Vietnamese and out from the back room walked a dude. I always wondered how the dudes felt about being manicurists. This day during what was a surprisingly pleasant conversation, I found out. I don’t know this man’s name other than it has 114 syllables. He told me he had been doing nails for almost ten years and hated it but had big dreams with the money he was saving.
He wanted to buy chicken houses.
Let’s see……Have pretty, clean nails or dig chicken poop out from under them. There has got to be some psychological rebellion against the nail industry going on there. Kind of like a preacher’s kid going to the penitentiary. Or you know, something like that.
Jas98e7073wrujwoer9eu8r, or whatever his name was, finished my nails and sent me to the u.v.lamps to cure. It was while sitting there I understood his desire to flee Salon Life forever. For today, he had his own Pedicure Challenge walk through the door.
If the man’s name wasn’t Billy Bob he missed his chance. Billy Bob had on overalls with a wife-beater underneath. And then, to top off the ensemble, he was wearing plaid papaw slippers with plastic soles. As he swaggered in and stood in his 6’3″, 350 lb. glory, he proclaimed:
“I need one of ya’ll to give me a ped-ee-kyor”.
And something in Jdp98q7w34;lknrs’s eyes died right then. I looked at him and he looked at me and we understood one another. Because I had “been there” and had “done that” my instinct was to fake a heart attack while my dude-friend-manicurist fled to the farm. Chicken poop never looked so good.
But I digress – which has necessitated this post become a Trilogy. I shared Part Two to establish that you can get great service in an Asian salon without all the hassles of having to be accountable for your whereabouts at a certain hand on the clock. And you might even make a new friend in the process who is older than twelve and doesn’t wear saddle-oxfords or stare at you longingly while clipping your toe skin.
It gets worse.
But, before I get ahead of myself, it was my confidence in my new friend Jdajsd;friar;gn’aweiort that led me to the salon in Florida where I got the Worst Pedicure ever given in the history of Vietnam.
And I shall conclude……soon.
My word, this gets more interesting by the post!! I remember having my first manicure by a man. Boy did God teach me something as I dealt with all my stereotypes. He actually gave me one of the most thorough manicures I’d had to that point.
I can’t wait to read part III.
WHAT???? I have to wait yet again?? If it wasn’t 9pm I’d be callin’ ya on this one!!!! What in world happened in Florida???? Do you know I’ve been upping your page loads waiting on this???
you are also gonna get my tail fired if you keep mentioning that I fell out of my mail truck!!!! HAHA
I highly doubt that my supervisor or any other high up is reading these blogs but you never know who is a friend of a friend of a friend if ya know what I mean!!!!
I’m loving these stories! : )
I am on the edge of my seat…
FUNNY! Can’t wait to hear the rest!
You’ve got me hooked! Can’t wait to hear the rest of the story!!
The suspense is killing us, girl!
I’m loving these!!! Did you know there is a lip balm called Chicken Poop? Seriously…
Can’t wait for part 3!!
BTW, I bought some wickles yesterday. I couldn’t help myself.. I was too curious! YUMMY! I just ate some out of the jar and they were soo good! I looked at my hubby and said, ‘Man, I should have put some wickles on my quesadilla!!’ He just looked back with a blank, confused stare. hehe..
Too funny! You just never know what you’re gonna get day-to-day, do ya? LOL
I’ll be back for part 3!
God bless :)
I love Pedicure and much like you I have to be free to walk in b/c I am never on time.But everytime they talk in Vietnamese I feel like they are taliking about me!!
My husband was in Vietnam and he says they are not lazy peolpe they can work he said they could squat under water for never to wait for you to come buy and Kill you of course these was in Vietnam,he said that when he first got there he wanted out he was deep in the jungle ,,saw alot of frams ,,maybe thats why he wants a chicken farm they live off there land over there,anyway my husband was happy when he was sent home after being there for 2 months he got shot in his foot thank God he can walk.
anyway I know these has nothing to do with pedicures,don’t know why I share it I guess b/c of the chicken farm. marina PS. can”t wait to hear about Florida
can’t wait to hear the rest.
I am a hand talker too……Don’t usually think about my nails but now I will…..
I find that people are watching my hands and then I get really self concious about all the flying going on!
BTW – Sandra does nails……at her house sometimes but also at a salon in Trenton. In case you didn’t know. =)
You mean there are salons other than Asian salons?!?
This is a new discovery for me.
And just to be clear, I’m not knocking it. I love Asian salons. I actually get nervous now if I hear English when I”m getting a pedicure. “What kind of place is this?!?”
Plus, if I have my big half-Asian husband drop me off, I get fantastic service.
Fun times! Can’t wait to hear the awful conclusion–I have a sense of humor like that. :)
Praying for a blessed day over you, Lisa!
girl – i once had a lady say how much she loved how real i was. then she went on to explain – “I mean look, your nails are not even close to being pretty.” She meant that as i compliment, but now i amke sure my nails are “done” ebfore I go off to speak. hee hee
love it!! Leigh
You are my girl Lisa, OMgoodness…
I had a pedicure done yesterday, I decided I get it all done yesterday, I mean I am using only turning 27 once as an excuse LOL.
Anyway, so the nails were fine, I get them done ever so often, but then the pedicure, the 2nd one I have ever had done in my life…
I watched the poor women struggle, as she tried to clip my toe nails, as she had to scrub my feet with the pumis stone…
I asked her if it was the worst she had seen..
She didn’t reply for a moment, and then said..
” Yea, I have seen worse then this.”
Didn’t really make me feel any better though…gosh.
So does this mean you came back with fungus? LOL> I hope not.
Can’t wait to hear more:)
OK, I’m still laughing….
I’m waiting… I want more, this is better than my favourite television programme!! ;o))
Okay, in defense of chicken farmers everywhere I really must chime in on this one! First of all, no self respecting chicken farmer actually DIGS chicken poop out from under their nails…They wear gloves, boots, masks…fully covered, head to toe! Also, most nail people I have seen have rather nasty looking nails…I’m just saying!
And secondly, I’m sure he’d be getting quite the pay raise and he’d never ever have to do a pedicure on a chicken!:)
These posts are hands down (no pun intended!) the funiest things I have ever read.
Can’t wait to see what happened next:-)
Oh Lisa, you are cracking me up!
The scary thing is hearing how alike we are…I always want nails on when I speak also because of the whole ‘talk with the hands’ thing…and I want it now – no appointment necessary!
You are a hoot! Can’t wait to hear the rest.
Oh Lisa that was so funny. You are so pretty you do not need anything done to your nails. People never get past your face to look at your hands or feet!!! Loved this and can’t wait for “Part III”. Until then………..God Bless!
Thanks for the huge laugh (I am currently in potty training hell), I really needed that.
I am totally in agreement. Its much better just to walk in. Who can be bothered with appointments?
Can’t wait to read the rest.
ps. Your recipe below looks great. So glad you were able to save the church’s rep. I would have done the same thing.
I know, I need to email you…and I will…as soon as I get through my bloglines! LOL!
Seriously, I don’t know if I can take part 3 of this story. You will be scarred for life dear one. Do you think you can break free from this one?? :)
Girl, you are too funny!! Let me tell you what is worse than feet………teeth, my dear, try cleaning them, stinky breath and all!!!
Can’t wait to hear more! I’ve had lots of pedicures over the years…I wonder if I’ve grossed anyone out… I hope not!!
You are absolutely hilarious. If I need to enjoy life a little more, I hop on over to The Preacher’s Wife…I think the women in your church must absolutely adore you…you are so real and full of life and love and laughter…I must confess that I had to get my magnifying glass out to identify Jdajsd;friar;gn’aweiort…oh dear…that tells you how old I am…took me a few tries to read it…lol…can’t wait to hear the ending tail or is it nail story…you make me laugh and I sure do need that right now!
I can’t wait for the third episode in this saga. You have given me laughter in the middle of a very sad week. Thank you!
cmon, cmon, I am waiting for part three. I’m cleaning today and need a little excitement to break up my day.
Love your posts! Came over the first time a week or two ago because I always enjoy and appreciate your comments & wisdom on Vicki Courtney’s blog. Thanks for a great laugh. Can’t even begin to imagine what’s going to happen in part 3. Don’t leave us dangling too long!
I was laughing so hard out loud that the other women in the room with me were laughing too and they had now clue…..until I shared it with them. I haven’t stopped by in a very long while, but I sure am glad I did today.
The grape dessert story cracked me up too! I am a youth pastor’s wife and to be honest they don’t seem to expect much out of us YM wives around here, or maybe the past YM wives never did anything…don’t know, but when I send something, whether I think it is great or not, EVERYONE tells me how wonderful it is…..it’s kind of comical! :)
THIS IS THE BEST BOOK I’VE EVER READ!!!!
I am LAUGHING OUT LOUD, (really at the uncanny resemblance to my own experiences in the sa ~ lon…
I once had the guy ask me if I LIKED my nails this way??
ok, time to pay attention to those ‘boy nails’…I UNDERSTAND..but the FEET, don’t even GO there!
I will be back to hear the about the ADVENTURE with a;slkdfl;sajfosiutdklfjautr!!
I will LAUGH when I think of it!!
ok lisa….this is michealle phillips again, let me tell you , i have told this story to alot of people,,,and you know i love to talk.
well, today i had to go have a procedure done at the hospital..without telling you too much…it was the most awful experience to date in my life….worse than child birth or the exams that go with them…so you may be able to guess….anywhoo, tammy was my nurse and the last thing i was talking to her about before they took me down stairs to “knock me out and prob around”….was you pedicure story. it is FUNNY. she said have you read the end yet..i said no i have not gotten on there in the last few days, so if shes posted it, ive not read it yet….she threatened to tell me SOON if you did not get it up on here!! haha
so just to let you know…)SHHHHH< BUT 9BAD CHOICE OF WORDS)you were my pre-colonoscpoy chit-chat)
thanks for the laugh on a tough morning!!!
cant wait for part III
This saga is positively riveting. We must have more. The line about something dying in his eyes cracked me up. Good stuff.
Oh my, but I am lol! I can’t imagine but then I can when I recall a manicure I had this summer when the lady literally ripped part of my nail off and I was BLEEDING! It was so horrible, as you can easily imagine but I have never had a bad manicure, except for the one years ago when my feet were so tender I could hardly walk…. Now, where was I going with this…?
Waiting for the rest of the story…
oh no you di’nt…. !!!
i got to know what happens next!
Wow–I started reading your blog and enjoyed it. I was expecting to continue enjoying it with your Preacher’s wife point of view…and then this story. As a preacher’s wife or even just a human, isn’t it incredibly disrespectful to speak of this young gentleman with such a disregard for who he was? And especially for his culture. I’m sure his name was not that mocking one you made up. I understand it was meant to make your readers laugh. But it was done at the expense of a young gentleman.