So Bad Only Happy Hour Could Fix It….
I am so stinkin’ ill.
I swore I wouldn’t get this way during thise Christmas season. I got off to a bad start with the whole Wii thing, but after that I promised myself and God I would maintain my cool. That I would stay focused on the birth of His Son. That our holy days would be filled with cookie-baking and carol-singing and craft-making and Frosty-watching.
Firstly, I should tell you my darling husband, the one with whom I love to compromise, told me our basketball schedule for the entire season consisted of my 4th Grader playing at 10 am and my 6th grader playing at 2 p.m. Because of this, I’ve never bothered looking at the actual piece of paper. I should also mention my 4th Grader had a friend spend the night and it was my responsibility to also deliver him safely to the game this morning.
Big Mistake for not looking at the schedule.
Bigger Mistake for ever trusting me with your child. I can barely take care of my own, people.
There was no hugging or scripture reading this morning when I found out the games were at NINE and ELEVEN instead. And by the way? Luke says he never told me the whole 10 and 2 thing.
I guess I just made it up because I looove squealing into the parking lot of a gym to which I’ve never been 4 minutes before game time while the parents whose kid I have are pacing at the front door considering calling 911 because they have no idea where their son is.
Yeah, it’s awesome. I think I’ll make up some more fake times to be places.
After I apologized to boy’s mom and dad, blamed the whole debacle on Luke, (because it was entirely his fault), I sat through three hours of elementary basketball.
And it was thrilling. Truly.
So at church tomorrow we are having a Cookie Exchange. It really is going to be fun but it unfortunately required I make a trip to WalMart. On a Saturday. During Christmas. The same day someone opened the Crazy Gate and all the residents flooded inside.
Apparently the Mayor of Crazy Town is moonlighting as the WalMart Manager. Because what to my wondering eyes did appear but A Stinkin’ Square Dancing Competition. On a Saturday. During Christmas. Did I mention 18,000 other crazy people were there? Has the Mayor never read Ecclesiastes about the appropriate things happening in appropriate seasons?
Now I have nothing against Square Dancing. It is actually quite entertaining and the person who calls the twists and shimmies is an extremely talented individual as are the dancers. On a hot day in July at a BarBQue, I would have loved to watch me some dosie-does. But as it were, the performance took up the entire front aisle of WalMart from the Produce to Health and Beauty Aids. So, unless you wanted to end up in the Ho Ho Ho Down, you had to reroute through the clothing to get from one side of the store to the other. Something I had to do numerous times because I left my list at home and every time I thought I was ready to get out of HoTown I realized I must cross again to pick up yet another thing I’d forgotten.
If you are wondering if you saw me there, I was the girl breathing in a brown paper bag when she finally got into the relative calm of her Suburban.
As I was driving home, taking deep breaths and asking the Lord to help me regain some of that peace I’d so promised Him I would maintain, I saw it.
The Happy Hour Sign.
All drinks, including my beloved Route 44 Diet Dr. Pepper, were half-price. It wasn’t just luck, ya’ll, but a sign of favor from the Almighty. I swerved into the drive-thru, got myself a
fix drink, and sang Jesus Loves Me This I Know.
And He does. I’m sure of it. So for His sake, I’m going to return to my cookie-baking and get my funky self in a better mood.
*Sigh* Thanks for letting me vent.
I feel better already.
praying you get better sooon
feel free to vent anytime
better out than in
Jen at http://my3boysandi.wordpress.com/
Oh honey just let it all out, sending you [[[[BIG HUGS]]]].
Bless your heart. I salute you for even TRYING to bake after all that.
I’ve never “known” anyone who could make life’s frustrations as hilarious as you do! You manage to absolutely capture life in the Mom-lane to a T, and then point us right back to Christ.
(I’d love to encourage you that it gets saner as they get older, but don’t look at me. I think we’ve managed to get 3 nights of our traditional singing-around-the-tree-in-the-dark done this week before Algebra II and a 7th grade basketball tournament descended.)
I bet those cookies you bring home tomorrow will taste really good with another Dr. Pepper! :-)
AMEN for treating yourself to Sonic! There is nothing like a treat to make all things well with the sould again :)
We are truly “Birds of a Feather.” Your days sounds like mine.
Praying for you!! And, Merry Christmas.
Bless your heart for the walmart trip on Saturday! Wow! I hope you have better luck with your cookies than I’ve had with mine so far…ugh! I’m gonna try again first thing in the morning…maybe.
Oh my!! Sounds like happy hour was just what the doctor ordered!! Walmart on a Saturday?? I won’t even begin to tell you about my trip there today. I am feeling a little better, though now since at least there weren’t square dancers at mine!!
Oh bless you! I’m glad other people have days like mine too! Its my fault really suggesting to Pete we go away the week before christmas… What was I thinking? So yeah, there’s not very much peace on my part of the earth either! (I’m sure I’ll feel better on a sunbed in spain in 8 days time though!.
Hope you have a wonderful christmas and every blessing for the coming year,
I searched for my favorite part of this post to highlight, but truly the whole dern thing was my favorite because I think i’ve done this once before too!
Keep the spirit Lisa! :) Maybe I should say the Holy Spirit!
When you get a few spare minutes, click over to my blog. You’ve been tagged for a Christmas meme!
Do all guys have that gene? The one that prevents them from recalling conversations.
I am on the floor ROLLING that Wal-Mart has a Square Dance competition IN THEIR STORE—you must live in TEXAS…that’s what we do here…square dancing in the aisles…let me catch my breath…you can take an ordinary event we all would witness and make it ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS…you must be related to Beth who just did that hilarious digital camera post…you know, Lisa, we all live with ourselves, right? and we need to laugh a little and enjoy life and you so get us to do just that…i’m with you on the basketball thing…my son’s VARSITY team has like 30 more games—they had to forfeit yesterday cause of YMCA Youth & Government and my child had no “dress shoes” (long story i posted about not worth…yada yada) and I was supposed to bring his horticulture plants to “tag in” at 4-H—WELL, I FORGOT to buy the shoes and check in the 4-H plants….he made it to state competition with NO SHOES but he’s out of 4-H competition! I have to stop HERE!!! I came to ask you to pray for my missionary daughter who had a motorbike accident yesterday—pray she still gets to COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!! I am SO SORRY this is so stinkin’ long—I just really got “into” your post! You are so ALIVE, Lisa and it so encourages me!
This is the funniest post to date! I can’t breath for laughing so hard! The “crazy gate” OH MY WORD!!! And the Ho Down! Too funny!!! I would actually love to hear you tell this story…cause I know I would be on the other end of the phone laughing so hard that someone would have to administer CPR!!!
Thanks for this! I hope you’ve had a better day today!
You have to be kidding! Square dancing in Wal-Mart? And they say we are red necks up here on the mountain.
I can remember the Saturday games very well. For years and years and years!!! we had to be at the gym on Saturday’s. I can just see you now, in Wal-mart being around all of the crazy’s of the day! I’ll bet you had that sweet smile on your face the whole time. Well at least after you got out you did get blessed, Sonic suddenly appeared huh? You are just to funny girl! Have a good week. Love You!
Your day sounds like mine was all weekend long what a headach. I need to fine the spirit in Chritmas these year for our son but I am so caught up in everything I that I get Frustrated.
I trying to keep all the school parties right and the kids trading gifts, and sending an ordament for there tree,and his chaple buddy I have aonther gift to by for him,and lets not forget the teachers and the aids,,ect.. that I havent found the joy in Christmas yet.I need that Happy Hour. Yesterday I just felt like just crying there is so much on my plate right now and, these is the Happest season of all!! sure don’t want to miss it, I am sorry I made these too long I guess I needed to vent too, thanks,marina
Oh I am totally not laughing at you (ok maybe just a little)
I totally relate though I did the Sam’s thing today and tried to take Christmas pictures :) – talk about stressful
BTW: Sam’s has sugar cookies already precut all you have to do is bake them and ice them if you want. I totally do that- forget the homemade stuff during this time of year things are too crazy!!
You are cracking me UP! I told myself I was just quickly catching up on blogs and not commenting but heading to bed… Yea, right! Not with your blog. You are a riot! I was just thinking tonight, no matter how hard I try, I am still short, tired, and stressed to the max at night. Where are the days where families just sit around and have dinner and sit on their lawn or porch with their neighbors? I want more reflective time this Christmas and yet it still seems to be flying by! Maybe we’ll get it once school is out, do you think?
So funny! Yet, I can so relate! I hope you got some super yummy cookies at the swap to make up for your horrible WalMart trip.
I too have never experienced square dancing in WalMart (although I live in a town where it would totally NOT surprise me!)… interesting to say the least!!!
Oh my goodness…I can’t even imagine! BUT I CAN imagine the glorious sight of that Sonic sign. For me it’s the Rt. 44 Diet Coke….gotta love it.
I LOVE SONIC ROUTE 44 DIET DR. PEPPER!! It is what gets this girl through! And what a blessing from our God in heaven to have happy hour! I can take your story and raise it a notch – but I will spare you all the details. Let me give you the cliff note version: Brother’s black tie wedding out of town – 4 kids to dress – day before leaving town fuel pump dies in Suburban – have to rent van -go to pick up, no keys – get on the road eventually – still no Christmas shopping at all!! There is more – but the Lord is good!! Have a Merry Christmas – and I hate Wal Mart on Saturday even when it’s not the holiday season!
Oh, my friend, I hate it when our husbands tell us things and then swear they didn’t. I think it is some conspiracy, I swear it is.
Square Dancing? Really? You had me laughing for ten minutes. Thanks for the stress release.
Hang in there, tomorrow is the beginning of a new week.
Oh how those men of ours have convenient memory loss. And how the Lord uses them to stretch us out and test us. Seems to me you made it through and got the half-price drink to boot!
Blessings in Christ–
I love reading your blog. I can’t remember if I’ve told you that before or not. I have no idea if I’ve commented before or not either.
But either way, I enjoy reading your blog and this post was hilarious! We live in Wales but are from Texas! yeehaw! :) And yes, I know Adele/Dellie. :)
This is bysterical. I am so jealous about happy hour at sonic- who knew???
By the way, the mayor of Crazy Town must moonlight at Popeye’s on Sunday evenings, because I was doing he hyperventilating in the bag thing by the time I got my family’s Sunday dinner yesterday:-)
Blessings! Thanks for the laugh!
You have a gift, my friend!
Now that’s my kind of happy hour! And aboutt he “Ho Down” in Walmart….I DO live in Texas and I have NEVER seen a square dancing in the isles of Walmart, unless it was some country bumpkin just trying to be silly!
Your stories are always so STINKIN’ hillarious! I DO hope to come to San Antonio for the Beth Moore thing to meet you and Brooke I know we would all have a BLAST!
Okay, #1 I was going to say something extremely funny about how reading about your Saturday, totally made me feel better about mine, but then I read Angela’s comment and I gasped audibly and then shouted, “SAY WHAT?!?!?!?” Are you going to be in San Antonio? And is there some reason why I didn’t know this??? Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to get to San Antonio and actually, like, see that big zit on your face in person????
Sorry, I can comment no further, I’m hyperventilating now!
This is exactly why I am falling more and more in love with online shopping this Christmas! Too bad we can’t do our grocery shopping online!
OOPS!!!! DIDn’t mean to get anyone in trouble here!!! I only knew that because Brooke – The Mail Girl asked me if I was going and told me that she was coming with Lisa and another person (or 2)
SORRY!!!! Didn’t mean to spill any beans!!!!
I just read your comment on the LPM blog…and I am so thankful for your testimony! For the love He poured into your life is freely poured out on others. Wow! And your impact on our lives in just the past two weeks has been huge!
I love you Sister, because He first loved us,
Hoping you feel MUCH better ASAP.
YOU need a t.v. show…
I’d watch every week:)
the square dance episode…
seriously…I can’t wait to see what happens when you start baking:)
good luck and may the peace of God be with you girl!!:)
SAN ANTONIO?! That’s right down the road!
Oh, I love it! You are too funny. And Walmart on a Saturday?! Yes, truly awful. You win an award.
Hope your day got better!
Oh good luck, I hope things have already got better after trauma like that–vent all you want.
I loved reading your comment on LPM, too! Thank you for sharing your testimony. It’s scary how similar we are! I just love this blog world!
I’m sure you are feeling so much better today!