And if all else fails, you can still threaten them with Hell..
After a particularly horrid trip to Wal-Mart with all four of my children in which they fought, pushed each other to the floor, and knocked things off shelves all before passing the greeter, I decided it was time to have a ‘Come To Jesus’ meeting on the way home.
I explained to the boys (the baby girl wasn’t involved as she more than once reminded me that she ‘was bein’ really good, mommy’) that the Bible says if you do not love your brother whom you have seen, then you can not love God whom you have not seen. My rant continued with how they should ‘be best friends’ and take up for one another if someone outside the family is picking on them. I then told them my only job on planet earth was to make sure they loved God and one another… “and if ya’ll DO NOT, what kind of mother does that make me??!! Does anyone understand what it is I am trying to teach you??!!!! “
Big Daddy (#3 boy – he’s 7) said: “Yes, I know what you are trying to tell us….THAT WE ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL!”
(Hey, he said it, not me! But the more I thought about it, I decided to let it play out for a minute to see if this could possibly work to my advantage.)
And at the mention of the word Hell, it all broke loose in my car. Have you ever wondered what ‘wailing and gnashing of teeth’ sounds like? Me too.
Not any more.
Apparently, mentioning Hell to a group of boys who have been brought up in church their whole lives hearing about that terrible place can be quite a traumatic thing – especially if one is suggesting they may be headed there because they cannot keep their hands to themselves at Walmart.
Before I knew it, the boys were repenting and promising to be kind to one another if each other would ‘just quit being so annoying!’ The peace treaty only lasted about four days, but those days were bliss.
If your summer is going anything like mine, and your Walmart trips sound at all similar, you are more than welcome to use the aforementioned tactic…I don’t believe it will be in any James Dobson manual anytime soon, so you’d better get it here while it’s hot….
FYI – School starts August 9th.
That is hilarious…..I use the verse “Thou shalt obey your parents” when my teenagers decide that they don’t want to do what has been asked of them….I told them that it mentions in the bible that your years will be long on the earth if you obey….my son has decided lately that he doesn’t care how long his years are anymore……LOL……..but up until a few weeks ago I could just say the word obey and they would shift their attitude……so now I need a new strategy….it’ might be an interesting story…..you never know!
Very funny….as a Mom of boys, I can totally understand this. And, hey, whatever works to avoid the storm in a store, right????
Thanks for sharing..
Ya just gotta use whatever works! That’s my motto too!
This post made me smile. I don’t know what it is about Walmart, but it brings out the worst in my children. Truly, they aren’t nearly as bad in Target. So today, we paid higher prices but all remained heaven-bound. A small price to pay indeed.
How funny! I’m always telling my daughter that it’s my job to make sure she grows up to be a Godly young woman (guilt trip, anyone?)
I agree with Cathy…Walmart doesn’t bring out Godly behavior. If I want to say a few choice words every time I’m there, why should I expect my child to act any different.
(Notice the “want to say” ;D)
lol….better get it here while it’s hot. James Dobson is missing out eh!? :)
Lisa, that is too funny! At least it worked for a little while, huh?!
Great parenting tip — i gotta write this down.
Thank you for another hilarious post! Threaten them with hell…good one! lol
This might be the best post of all time.
Been there done that! Almost through my kid out of the moving car when he mentioned that “HE double hockey sticks” might be better than in the car with me yelling at them! And yes, he is still alive.
I was laughing at the headline! Oh my word, that’s funny. You plastered a big smile on my face tonight.
Praise Jesus I loved this, I am so glad to know that other ministry kids behave as bad as mine, I really thought I was the only one, Hell is a good choice of action, I must remember it! do you think it will work on the beloved as well (ha ha only joking) you are such a encourager. love always me
Well, at least you know he was listening to your sermon…I mean, your speech and not just tuning you out!
Oh my… from the mouth of babes…
Oh no you didn’t…you didn’t just flash up there the day that school starts!!!
You know…this was all captured on video at Walmart right? “look, isn’t that our Pastor’s wife right there – and those children…oh my!”
Just teasing about the PW thing, but the camera – nope, not kidding about that.
We are not laughing at you – just with you.
This idea is akin to the one about “I brought you into this world and I can take you out….” Boys need something kind of vivid, like fiery hot places with explosions and hand grenades and rocket shells. Glad you got a peace treaty and a little rest. Thanks for sharing.
Made me smiled. Reminded me of when my 5 year old daughter hit her 7 year old brother on the head with her Fisher Price purse because he was being annoying. She then left the purse in the resturant. We didn’t realize till later. After the aftermath of tears dady had to take us back for dinner to retreive the purse.This was a kid friendly resturant with hamburgers and ice cream. hmm.
I hate trips to walmart with all the kids.
My older two girls are really in to the while – “I’m bein’ the goodest am I mommy?!!?” thing too!
but I have to say the rest of this is quite funny! =)
Not sure it will have the same effect on my kids though….
I am hoping to see you tomorrow evening….hint…hint =)
LLOL! I heard someone say once that there must be something about the automatic-door-opener-thingy at the front of WalMart that must reprogram their brains on the way in the store or something… Kids always seem to act a fool at Walmart, LOL! Great story. Use whatcha got, I always say. (“Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God” included. ;)
Oh,my! Looooove IT!
I’ll have to remember this! Thanks Lisa!! All going good here, feeling v.v. sick though! =Op
My favorite part comes at the label: Parenting or the Lack Thereof. I think that pretty much sums up my parenting as well! I think one of the best things about having a 13 year old in the house (and yes, there are good things, just few and far between at times) is I now go to Wal Mart ALONE and even better when I get home all four kids are responsible for unloading the van AND putting up the groceries!
That is great!! I do the exact same thing with my boys. They aggravate each other and they know it and they deny it, why??? My twins have been gone with gparents for a few days and they seem to have lost all sense of “home training.” #2 who is usually walking the straight an narrow, was running in a resturant. I flipped. Do you know what folks think? Not, I was…. running in the restaurant but “can you believe so and so “let” their boys run around in a restaurant. What kind of parents are they”.
“Don’t we teach you how to act? Do you want people thinking bad things about me and your daddy?” (Give them that big’ol guilt trip) Works for a while. I love the “Come to Jesus meeting”. We’ll be having those starting tomorrow!!
I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately at my 2 boys fighting constantly. They are 7 and 9 – only 18 months apart. They can be best of friends or worst of enemies all within a matter of 60 seconds.
Thanks for sharing your struggles too. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone.
You are too funny!