Why The Preacher’s Wife?
The most obvious reason my blog is called The Preacher’s Wife is the fact my husband, Luke, is a preacher. We’ve been in ministry 15 years now and currently serve in a small town in Alabama where you are known by association moreso than name – especially if you are relative newcomers like Luke and me. When we eat in the local restaurant or I run into the grocery store I am rarely called by Lisa but rather I’m greeted with, “Hello, Mrs. Preacher’s Wife”.
And I pretty much love it.
so you enjoy not having an identity?
I’m a preacher’s wife too, and I absolutely HATE not having a real name.
just a title, and expectations, and no pay check.
oh, i just hate it.
Dear Anonymous,
Your note has shattered my heart and I’m praying even now that God would encourage you.
May I ask: How would you characterize your relationships with people within your church? Are there specific things that have happened to cause you to hate being a pastor’s wife?
I hope you will talk with me. You can email me at thepreacherswife1@gmail.com or we can correspond here.
Much love,
Lisa
Lisa, I too am a preacher’s wife and like you I love the association. One gentlemen at our church calls me “Preacher Lady”. I used to think that just because my husband was called – didn’t mean I was. Now I realize what an honor and priviledge it is to carry that title! I am called to work BESIDE my husband. I am called to be a servant (as we all are). I love the ministry. What an awesome God we serve and what an awesome call we share.
Dear Lisa~
I too am a “preacher’s wife” in a small southern town. Here the term “preacher” and “preacher’s wife” is one of respect. We are loved and cared for here in our town. I share your sentiment and “pretty much love it”!!
Hi! I just found your blog through a friend’s blog! My hubby’s name is “Pastor” and my name is “Pastor’s Wife.” I love him and I love being his wife, so “I pretty much love it”!! :-)
I am also a preacher’s wife (and refer to myself as such), but in the community we live in I am often referred to as “First Lady.” I laughed out loud the first time someone called me that; I just assumed they were joking. After six years at this church, I have realized it is a term not only of respect but also affection.
My Husband Just told His preacher calling in July! He has grown sooo much spiritualy! I’m still very nervous about being a preachers wife. I would love if you ladies would pray for us as we both grow in Christ! Thanks!
Lisa,
I also live in South Alabama. I am not a preachers wife, however, I do have a brother that is a preacher.
My husband and I have recently started Bible College via DVDs and are really learning a lot.
We are both 72, but the Lord is really working on us. I teach a Ladies Bible Study at my church and I need to get to know enough to be able to share more of the truth. Thanks for your e-mail to me.
Lisa,
I just “happened” upon your blog. I am a “preacher’s wife” who has been a “Chaplain’s Wife” (USAF) for the past 14 years. Looking around your blog has encouraged me.
Keep up the good work. You’re a blessing.
DITTO to 11/17 comment by Anonymous!!! I’ve been enduring for 31 plus years being introduced as “the preacher’s wife.” I feel sorry for the rest of you who have to depend on your husband for an identity. Do you ever hear the title “the preacher’s husband”????? THINK on that on for awhile!!!!
My heart is breaking for the anon writer on 1/28…to often, “laypeople” put the “preachers” and “their wives” on such pedestals that it’s forgotten WHO really belongs there. We are only people, like any other, here to encourage and exhort one another. We are human, so we make mistakes, too. It’s sad that so often people in the ministry are not allowed to be human. We need to remember that only Christ was perfect, and only HE should give us our identity!
Remembering that we are not “above the fold”, that each person who has called on the name of Jesus has the right to go to the throne equally will help, I think ;)
Just my thoughts…. ;)
I agree Heather. I think that is one reason why being “the preacher’s wife” can sometimes be frustrating. Some times I think, “Oh no, can’t I just fly under the radar and be normal?” :-)
We don’t suddenly receive super powers when our husband enters the ministry. We have faults. We lose the shoes, we forget to tip the waitress :blush:, we get grouchy at the bagger for putting 10 cans in a paper thin bag, etc. We are still people.
Anon of 1-28 Let me first point out the obvious fact that my identity is in Christ alone! Gal 2:20
If we go through life placing our identity in other people or things we are going to be disappointed. Why? Because the world is full of sin. Things rot and fade away, people fail us because they sin.
I am sorry that in 30+ years you are still upset at being introduced as “the preachers wife” rather than delighting in what God has done by using you and your husband in the ministry.
How many people can name Michael Phelps coach? Who is the one that is cheering him on? Who is the one that go home and get some rest? Who is the one that is there on a blustery morning standing at the pool and given constructive criticism? Michael just recently won 14 medals, breaking the world record, but who is his coach? I don’t know who he is.
My point is that as pastor wives we will probably never have our name in lights.
But we know who we are.
I wear my title with pride. I am “Pastor Adam’s wife”
Hello Lisa and other ladies, I too am a Preacher’s Wife…I kinda stumbled upon this site and I had to chuckle at some of the comments. I am affectionately known as Lady J ( my name is Jasmine) at the church in which my husband pastors. We’ve been at the church going on 5 yrs and it was a nick name given to me by one of the members that has stuck.I would like to say that even though I haven’t been called to preach, we as PW have a big responsibilty (in which I wasn’t fully prepared for) as well. However, as the song says I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now!! I can truely say that within the last 5 yrs I’ve had my faith tested and I did want to give up but each day is helping me to grow stronger in God. I am forever grateful to be a PW!
Lisa! Blessings to you and your husband this Sunday evening! This is my first visit to your spot and what a joy to see your cheerful attitude in serving our wonderful Savior! We are soooo privileged to serve the King of Kings! I am not a Pastor’s wife, but my husband and I have been in ministry for over 30 years. I WAS born into a Pastor’s family and have NO regrets! The life’s lessons I learned with more valuable than any education I could have received. (You can visit my post for February 28th to see what I mean!) There is nothing that surpases the joy of seeing others come to a knowledge of Christ Jesus as Savior and to watch them grow in their faith! May the Lord richly bless you in your location where He has strategically placed you! Grateful, Gwendolyn
I love that you love it. :) I’ve been a pastor’s wife since August and am still getting used to it! There are aspects that are a struggle for me–the big one right now is feeling like a “single parent” on Sunday mornings, now that we have kids!–but overall it’s been a blessing. We have a wonderful congregation that has been so loving and supportive!
I’m not a Preacher’s Wife but I am a Preacher’s Daughter. Like many of you ladies I always felt the pressure of being a PK. I agree with the remark about no one knowing who Michael Phelps coach is but you can bet if he messes up you could remember who he was. That was the hardest thing for me as a PK in my teens. I loved the fact that my father was a Minister but yet I had struggles with it also. I can remember at times where I don’t think my mother enjoyed it ALL the time either and my mother had a very quiet personality and would have loved to slide under the radar also. I don’t think she hated it but I’m sure she had her moments which I feel most Preacher’s wives probably do too. If not yet then let’s talk again in another 30 years. God Bless
I am not a preacher or a the wife of one. But I did read all the comments and found it so entertaining (smile). I think it’s wonderful to feel good about your position as a Preacher’s wife if that is what you choose. I don’t think there is any identity confusion here just because someone feels good about that. As long as you are setting an example and trying your best to be all that God intended you to be, then have fun and be merry. If you are not enjoying your position, then change it up. I believe God is lighthearted, so we should be too.
I am getting married in July to a Preacher. Every church that I visit with him the preachers wives there say they would like to talk to me about being a preachers wife…the men at the church my fiance and I attend tell me that I will make a good preachers wife. I appreciate the compliments, and comfort but I still do not know what it is to actually be a ‘preachers wife.’ Do you have anything to say at all??
I was a pastor’s wife in Georgia, and I struggled, not being from the south, but I love the ministry, and I’m still serving the Lord … but in California!
God bless you as you bless others as “a pastor’s wife,” but also with your delightful writing!
Dawn
I just read “Why The Preacher’s Wife?” and my heart, too, was broken because of Anonymou 11/17/08’s’ pain and discomfort. Did she write you?
Were you able to tell her that we are all part of someone else, and the most important ‘else’ is Christ? That being identified as a Christian is a real identity — the most important one in this world?
I love my preacher’s wife — Tina. She has a name, an identity, a job, a title and we do expect so much from her. And, give so much to her in return. We give her time, support, prayer and our appreciation for her witness. Tina’s identity is magnified by Christ, not buried under a load.
I love another preacher’s wife — my granddaughter, married to a Youth Minister. She is a Christian, daughter, wife, mother — yet her identity is not buried. Again, it is magnified as she witnesses to young people ready to begin their walk with Christ. Her husband’s first position was Youth Minister in southern Alabama.
Oh, what would we do without Preachers’ Wives!