My Worst First Pedicure Part One
WARNING: If you are looking for a spiritual post today, you should scroll WAY on down or click on something in my sidebar. Otherwise, hang tight.
Also, this post is in two parts because:
1. It is extremely long.
Bear with me as I give a little backstory……
I’ve had many ‘almost’ professions in my life. I was just one of those girls who couldn’t quite decide who she wanted to be when she grew up. I went first to Computer Programming classes, then a short stint in Nursing School followed by a program of Cosmetology. (I actually finished that last one.)
I’ve never been a big fan of the foot. I have never seen anyone with attractive feet and, seeing as how my second toe is literally as long as my pinky, mine are included in that category. Until I got comfortable with myself in Jesus, I never wore open-toed sandals because something about a rogue toe hanging off the end of your shoe is just plain freakish.
Perhaps this self-conciousness contributed to my trauma when one day during cosmetology class, a ‘client’ walked in wanting a $1 pedicure from a student. Unfortunately, I was the next in line on the Pedicure List. I gathered my will-power and went to the spa chair.
Now you should remember I lived in a rural setting at the time and to say there was a lack of sophistication in said town would be an understatement. You would think people would clean their feet before sticking them in a complete strangers face but this faux pas is forgivable considering my client of the day did not have a full set of toenails.
Yes, people. She had ten toes. What she was missing were two toe nails.
Due to The Fungus.
And did I mention I was next in line on the Pedicure List?
My instructor had heard me whine about feet plenty of times before this day. I was sure if I reminded her how grossed out I was by feet and then explained a Fungus was Among Us she would pass me by. And then there was the question of how much to charge. If ten toenails were $1 should eight toenails be 80 cents?
It’s a legitimate question, girls.
But one that did not convince my instructor to do the Christian thing and let me off the hook. Apparently that day the Christian thing to do was gather several girls from class to watch from her glassed in office and laugh as I walked sllloooowwwlly back to the chair.
I proceeded with the pedicure by instructing the woman to put her feet in the bath and I really was fine until the Nice Lady said:
“I want you to paint my toe nail roots and some of my toe to make it look like I have toenails where The Fungus was.”
And in the words of Hannah Montana, “NiceLadysaywhat?”
Due to my utter bafflement and the fact I was painting mangled toe hide, that $1 pedicure was arguably one of the worst nail paint jobs ever done in SpaLand – that is until the one I had in Florida last week which I will tell you about in Part Two.
Let me be clear my toe nails are all present and accounted for so that is no excuse for the injustice done to my feet.
And just so you know, if I never hear the words “toe nail roots” again in my eternal lifetime it will be way too soon.
I’m cracking up! I’m not sure I could have recovered from such an ordeal…at least w/out writing about it!
Okay, I commented on my blog about your “wickles!” (wow, just looking at that sentence is making me laugh!)
I don’t know…I think I would have said, “Now, this is just too far, LORD. No way. Uh uh!”
I know you blessed her, though.
I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story :)
Have a fun and laughter-filled weekend!!
Ok…I have laughed out loud over this one and I am so sorry this happened to you….obviously traumatized from it and it has reared its ugly head and come back into your life due to last weeks horrible pedicure!!! Whew.
I did kinda gag a little bit with a couple of words you mentioned that I dare not to repeat…you know, t.n.r GROSS, GROSSER, GROSSEST!
But, I do thank you for the laughter. I’ll come back for part 2.
Funny!! I know EXACTLY what you are talking about since I was a nail technician up until a few weeks before my son was born. I have been there, more times that I’d like to recall!! Luckily the ladies I worked on didn’t actually have ‘The Fungus’ just the precusssions… thankfully my boss was smart and let us refuse anyone with LIVE fungus (EWWWW!!) since it is sooooo spreadable. Ok, now I have that comercial with the nasty fungus guy squirming under the toenail in my head!!
Waiting for part 2!
Oh Lisa, bless your heart! That is so funny, but I know that it wasn’t for you. I did not know that about you. You just have many hidden talents. Can’t wait for part 2!! Thanks and have a good week-end! Love You!
That’s hilarious! I went through school for that, too, so I was feeling your pain as I read your post. I cannot wait to hear part 2. Hope you have a great weekend!
we have something in commen I went to cosmetology school too,and I understand how you feel I didn’t like pedicure part one time I got someone with drit under there nails it smell sooooo,bad!! I wanted a mask ,its the worset thing I ever did its also very humbling, after that one pedicure I would do anything but a pedicure.I would usually hide in the back and study my book or try and look busy when it came to pedicure days.Can’t wait to hear part 2.love,marina
Ewwww. You’re a better woman than I am!
I read your comment at Vicki Courtney’s blog…I LOVE LOVE LOVE Starbuck’s Caramel Apple Cider. Especially when I have a sore throat. With no Starbucks here, I’m going to have to try to make my own…
Ok, I really wanted a pedicure for my 40th birthday but I am afraid I will end up the story on someones blog. Yes,I have all 10 toenails and no fungus, but my feet are so rough they look like they should be at least 40 years older than the rest of me! I can not even imagine having to have touched them feet. I think that is where I might have decided that career was not for me!
Ewwwww…that gave me the CREEPS. I can’t wait to hear part II. I do get a pedicure once a month and LOVE it. I don’t know if I could give one because I am just not a “touch the feet” person.
:-) Susan
Makes one throw up in one’s mouth, a little, doesn’t it? wow. How did you not run out of there screaming?
I SOOO would have quit Cosmetology School then and there!
However, I must say that the Hannah Montana reference had me laughing out loud! Although I’m pretty sure Hannah would have said something more along the lines of “creepyfungusladysaywhat?”
lisa this is so funny. i was laughing so hard, rik came in to join in on the fun…he said you are crazy as he left the room laughing!!
thanks, this is great. can’t wait for part II.
michealle phillips
SO funny!!!