More Bible Study!
Quick Question:
I’m working on finalizing some retreat material for a study called, “Sarah: A Woman out of Control”. No slander meant to our girl, Sarah. The ultimate point will be that we need to get comfortable with the fact we aren’t meant to hold the reins to our lives.
Anyway, I’m praying now over the portion of Scripture where Sarah got her Ishmael – and then despised him. (Genesis 16) Have you ever manipulated to get something you wanted and regretted it deeply when you got what you asked for?
Just curious…I want to be sure I’m speaking in relevant terms on this point and thought you girls could give me some insight…
Love ya!
I personally thinking manipulation is part of our womanly DNA. I mean, wasn’t it Eve who… well, nevermind. ;)
Yes I have. Now the question would be which of the ones to address. Speaking overall, I am more prone to look at the bells and whistles of the “happiness” I think it will *instantly* bring me, before looking at it with more than a dreamy, wishful and lustful eye.
It’s a hard lesson to learn. But it seems once I master one area, another one- previously gone unnoticed, pops up out of nowhere.
just about anything that i’ve gotten out of my husband by manipulation! it can spoil anything.
a compliment that i worked out of him (“i’m so fat”). agreeing to the shoot-em-up movie he wants to see, then pouting until he figures out i really want the chick flick and reluctantly agrees. having a tantrum about how he doesn’t help around the house, and then feeling guilty the whole time he’s vacuuming.
Pretty much anything I try to do in my own strength ends up a disaster. Even spiritual things. For years (during college and a few years after) I tried and tried and tried to get involved with some sort of youth girls ministry. Nothing usually came of it, and when it did, it was always fraught with problems. Finally when we moved here I was asked by the church leadership to work with the teenage girls. I was a little wary since I’d had roadblocks before. But I prayed and accepted and it has been wonderful. The ironic thing is that the girls I minister to here have all kinds of problems and issues I would have never encountered in other churches. I now know all these years of “waiting to serve” was God’s purpose to build and strengthen me so that I would be most effective and most equipped when I finally arrived at the place HE had planned for me. That’s not to say there aren’t problems – you will always have issues working with teenagers – but the Spirit of the Lord is definitely working in this ministry; I don’t feel like I have to “force” anything anymore.
that’s something i call my selfish prayer. it never turns out right and it has helped me grow deeper in my belief and trust to NOT pray this way (obviously)
I don’t think I was born with manipulating skills. I just tell people I want something and they either give it to me or they don’t. Most of the time it’s a big fat ‘negative’ but I have gotten a few cool ink pens given to me. (I heart ink pens a lot if you would like to send me one :))
Oooooooooh yea, I affectionly now refer to … remember when I did that/or this/or fill in the blank … I got several spiritual whippin’s because of it! ha ha “Ask and you shall receive” is not to be used manipulatively but one has to live through it to learn it.
Lisa – YES you are right on target. I – and women – am good at manipulating. Eve manipulated Adam in certain ways. Even Sarah manipulated Abraham to have a child. Total manipulation and NOT God’s timing! History proves it and my life proves that this is NOT good. My decisions have come back to bite me. Yikes! This sounds like an awesome retreat. Blessings.
Ultimately I believe while trying to manipulate people and circumstances, we are actually trying to manipulate God and his plan for us. Lately I have been challenged to seek to keep in check the motivation of my heart and asking the hard questions to myself and the Lord to reveal any wrong motivation I may have toward a person or circumstance.
Yep, that’s relevant. I’ve done it so many times, I don’t have a specific example, but my manipulation can range from subtle guilt trips to full-blown fit-throwing. And every bit of it could be avoided if I’d follow the first two commandments — love God supremely and love others as myself.
Abso-blooming-lutely!! Check out my email I sent you, let me know if you didn’t get it -my silly computers still playing up,
Love ya xxx
Relevant? Absolutely! Tonya’s my name. Manipulation’s been my game (far too many times).
Regrets? Oh yes! I’ve had the meat coming out of the nostrils (Numbers 11:18-20) after getting what I had so desperately wanted (and had *worked so hard to get).
*worked (aka manipulated) – whined, pouted, distorted truth, rolled eyes, debated, argued, threatened, belittled, etc.
Oh wicked me! Yes, I have. This very attitude that Sarai had by taking things into her OWN hands…I’ve had myself a time or two. Thank you to my Lord ….for His mercy and forgiveness for not bopping me on the head like I deserved!
I love how as this situation progresses….when Hagar splits thanks to the misery she’s living in (gee doesn’t that sound like most of us?) She realizes that God is the God who sees all!
El Roi! Nothing gets past Him!
And that she can rely on Him to take care of her in spite of any personal crisis.
Ahhh we have to learn the hard way, doggit!
I love the way you think!
RECORD this one so we all can hear it!
Many years ago, I believed that the answer to all of life’s problems was to leave. And so, when my husband and I would fight about his family – my new inlaws – I would suggest we “get away”. We had no money, were in debt up to our eyeballs from school, had no kids and yet, I thought the answer was always to “get away”. He would always talk me out of it, which is why it became a bigger and bigger deal to me. Finally, I decided to pack our bags and pick him up from work and kidnap him off to some snazzy hotel. We live in the Dallas area – surely we could find a cheap room at a nice place, right? Wrong. After hours of driving around, looking for a room, we almost went home but ended up at some suites motel where the bed was horribly uncomfortable and small. I slept on the couch, where I spent a long night HATING our night away. So yes, I think it’s relevant.
With much heartache, I must say yes to this question. Years ago, I was newly divorced, had dated a guy for a very short time and became pregnant. I kept the baby and there are times when I can tell I resent my own child for my manipulative choices and decisions. Those decisions and choices have been met with challenges and opposition brought into the life I manipulated to get. VERY difficult to say this. VERY.
YES!!!
And is it Beth Moore that says what we have to manipulate to get isn’t really ours anyway. And won’t stay ours?
I have been struggling not to be like Sara in the past year. Please send your notes this way, I could really use the encouragement.