Something tells me Moses’ stuttering had nothing to do with a new lip gloss

Ahhhhh, the greatness of mi casita.

And I’m not talking about my favorite Mexican restaurant EVER. I’m referring to the quaint home where I dwell with the five humans who adore me most on this earth. I know this because they were waiting for me at the door when I pulled into the drive. Never mind the first words out of their mouths were, “Where’s my prize????” I know they really missed me. You have to be a mom to know love is the root emotion that fuels the frenzied ripping apart of the outlet store bags.

As much as I treasure spending a weekend teaching the Bible to a bunch of Jesus-lovin’ girls, it’s always great to return home and collapse onto my own sofa. As much as I love ‘me’ time, nothing thrills me more to return to the land of ‘them’ time. There is nothing God has called me to do that could ever justify neglecting the most important ministry He’s given me – this family. Luke is so gracious in releasing me to be fully engaged in the subordinate calling God has placed on me but that doesn’t at all alleviate the guilt I feel for leaving them to fend for themselves. Not that Luke doesn’t take care of things beautifully. I’m just inclined to wife and mother them at any distance whether they appreciate it or not.

All that aside, this weekend really was a blast. I got to hang with my long time bff, Kelly. It is with great joy I introduced her to lip plumper. I’ve used it before but never felt the need to purchase any until I noticed last week that my upper lip has shriveled away to nothing in spite of my attempts to stay hydrated with nasty water. Not nasty as in our water is nasty. I mean nasty as in I hate it. Doesn’t the H2O in Diet Dr. Pepper count for anything?

Apparently not because as I mentioned, I no longer have a top lip so when Kelly and I went in CVS and there were $5 Extra Bucks for buying plumper, I couldn’t resist. {Coupon alert: I needed an eyeliner so I used my ECB’s and got one for pennies..Go Me!} We couldn’t wait to try it out in the car so I ripped open the package and we both put some on. {Another alert: It is a special friend with whom you can share lip care products.} I failed to mention to Kelly that plumper burns as if you’d swiped battery acid on your lips so she thought she was having an immediate allergic reaction. Imagine her relief when I explained there was nothing to worry about since the intense pain was actually a sign this must be some good stuff.

She wasn’t impressed.

And y’all, I’m not sure if I am either. I don’t know if the burn is in reality a placebo to make you think your lips look bigger or if the stuff actually works. I think my upper lip is making a bit of a comeback but again, it could just be a figment of my imagination. If it weren’t for the big score on eyeliner, I would be in a pit of despond if I spent $9 on a cosmetic that didn’t make good on it’s promise. I’ll need to think on this a day or so before I make my final judgement on my faith in Maybelline marketing.

I do wish you could have been in the car with Kelly and me when the numbness took full effect. Our conversation sounded something like this:

Me: Hey Kehwy. We bettew get back to da tabin so I can teach on Fiwst Cowimpians.
Kehwy: Otay, Wesa. But fuhst, wet’s doh to Tahbucks.

So we did go to Starbucks. And got the most awesome Caramel Apple Spice.

And if it was way too hot to drink, we never knew it.