So I’ve mentioned that I feel I’ve come to a crossroads of sorts. Just saying that makes me think of Ralph Macchio making a deal with ‘ole Scratch on a forgotten highway in the Mississippi Delta but that, thankfully, isn’t exactly what kind of junction I’m talking about. Luke and I have talked a lot over the past weeks and I told him what I’m telling you now – I feel I’ve reached a season of life in which it is time to get a job.
All of my kids are in school now leaving 7 hours of my day completely free. I use the term ‘free’ loosely in that there are plenty of homekeeping, Luke-helping, kid-hauling, Bible-studying things that need to be done. I just have a hard time determining the what, when, and how without getting sidetracked with something more fun or intriguing or demanding than what I’m doing at the moment. I don’t work well with unstructured time. The ADD in me needs obligation and accountability in order to thrive. Once upon a time I did have a rigid schedule that I followed Pharisaically, but that stressed me out in a whole other kind of way. SO, here I am with several areas of my life that need compartmentalization, pronto.
There’s also the financial aspect. According to Luke, he’s kept me up for the past 13 years so now that my kids are half grown it won’t hurt for me to contribute to the money bag. (He didn’t say it but I know he’s thinking it.)
Back to the job.
As I prayed to the Lord for guidance, it occurred to me this thing could go one of two ways. I could either attempt to find gainful employment whereby I actually punched a clock every day. The heartbreaker there would be the inability to continue ministry as I now know it which basically consists of my being gone a couple times per month and preparing for those times in between. I’m also trying to put together a new book proposal. I don’t think many employers take kindly to having a girl who only wants to work when it doesn’t conflict with her study/travel schedule. The upside? A paycheck. Haven’t had one of those in a while. The downside? Having the life sucked right out of me since I wouldn’t be able to do the thing I’ve come to realize gives me the greatest joy outside of loving my husband and kids. Taking the summer off proved that point.
Or on the other hand, I could lay the casual ministry I’ve already been doing for several years at the feet of Jesus and see what He might do through it. Formalizing a bit – as in naming and claiming it as a real live organism – would give me that sense of accountability I need as an outlet for teaching, writing , and speaking. The upside? I’d be serving God in a new and scary way. The downside? No paycheck on this side of glory.
It seemed as though the decision was going to be made for me because the bottom line was that I needed a dependable income. And so the Lord – being bigger than all – orchestrated a work situation that could not be more perfect for me. It is very flexible, will meet our families’ needs, and allows me to continue what I’ve been doing all along. All out of the blue. From nowhere. As in BAM, there it was and I’m still sitting here slack-jawed over it.
I have to believe this is my green light to continue on a path to forming a ministry. I don’t know how long it will take because there is a lot involved f I decide to go the non-profit route. I’m still researching all that. What I do know is that – as of today – I’m running on faith and pretending the thing already exists. I’ll be working from a make-shift office at the church on a regular basis. I’m telling you all this because not only do I want to be accountable to God, my husband, and my kids – but to you as well. So if you see my Facebook status update at an odd time of day, feel free to leave me a note that says, “Aren’t you supposed to be working?” After I get over being mildly annoyed, I’ll thank you. I promise.
I’ll be sharing more soon but for now, I’d better get to bed. I’ve got to get to work in the morning.
And my boss isn’t an early morning kind of girl. I think we need to discuss flex-time.