Called Out: Who are You Mentoring?
Who are You Mentoring?
By Rachel Schelb
I’ve only been a minister’s wife for 2 ½ years. When we came to our church, I was excited! I thought for sure I would be mentored by the two other staff wives, or at least that we would get together once in a while just to spend time together. I’m the type of girl who, as a small child, would spend 10-15 minutes watching other kids play on the playground to make sure I knew proper protocol, etc. Absurd I know, but that’s me! As a new minister’s wife, I was eager to be mentored, trained and encouraged on this new journey by those who have gone before.
Mentoring is crucial for women. Titus 2:3-5 states:
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Older women, (and not just in age but also spiritually older) should be role models. Those who are older must live in a manner worthy of imitation and teach what is good. Why must they do this? To teach the younger women!
When we look at the things women are supposed to teach the newbies coming up after them, we see they’re “simple” topics that bear a lot of weight, especially as a staff wife! Love your husbands and children, be self-controlled and pure (who else has wanted to tell that church member just what you think of them?) to take care of the home, to be kind, and to respect their husbands so that no one can malign the word of God.
As ministry wives are we being Titus 2 women? Am I living in such a way that others can model my behavior? Am I teaching those new to being a staff wife the topics found in Titus 2? Or do I feel too inadequate to take such a role? As a newbie, I am thankful for the minister’s wives at other churches who have taken me under their wing and I have learned from the lack of help from my church the importance of helping those around us.
I may feel inadequate, you may feel inadequate, but we have to help those around us. Together we can encourage and learn from each other. We can learn how to love our families better. We can encourage each other in self-control and purity, we can assist each other in taking care of the home, being kind and respecting our husbands. And if we work together in doing this, we can point people to the Lord and draw each other closer to Him as well!
Rachel Schelb is married to a student pastor and they live in Brandon, FL. They’ve been married for two 1/2 years and met while Andy was in seminary. Rachel loves baking, painting and most of all, teaching girls and women the word of God. She blogs at The Schelbs.
That is wonderful that you are very open to learning from other staff wives. My mom is a pastor’s wife so I grew up learning more about the position I was about to enter in. While we were on internship, I was grateful to get to know the pastor’s wife. She had a different leadership style from my mom, but it was good to see another way of doing things. Unfortunately I have not found deep relationships with other PWs here, but I’m open. Thankfully my denomination is starting to do Pastor’s Wives Retreats every other year which have been so beneficial–even more than I imagined.
I became a pastor’s wife after my husband taught band for seven years. I was blessed because my husband came on staff at a small church where we were good friends with the senior pastor and wife. I learned a lot by watching her and my mother-in-law who is also a pastor’s wife. When my husband came on staff at a large church, it took a long time before I even met all the pators’ wives. Each of us have our own style that works for us and I really needed to just embrace the person that God made me to be. I am so glad you found some other wives that mentor you – I know how beneficial that can be!