Roller Coaster Religion

Sawyer and Elijah’s Sunday School classes went to Six Flags while Luke and I were out of town.  Believe it or not, I was disappointed to not be able to go along even though I’m horrified of roller coasters. *insert foreshadowing here* My boys are a blast to hang out with and have made being the mom of teenagers ridiculously fun.

So I’m in Florida and I get a phone call from one of my bff’s, Kim, and she says, “I just want you to know your son is okay..” (Dead silence.) Sensing I didn’t know to what she was referring, she said, “Oh, I thought you would have heard by now.”

Not a great way to begin a conversation from 450 miles away. I took a deep breath.  I did not freak out.  I simply responded…


It turns out Elijah and several more of our kids were on the Dare Devil (appropriately named) and the car got stuck. At the top.

….AT THE TOP.  For a good half an hour they were lying on their backs. IN A COASTER CAR HUNDREDS OF FEET IN THE AIR,  without their mommies… *deep breath*

…..while the Six Flags staff harnessed each kid one by one and transferred them onto a lift. Which lowered them to the ground. FROM HUNDREDS OF FEET IN THE AIR…

God obviously knew what He was doing when He made sure I wasn’t there.  And I can promise you my boys are glad I wasn’t there because a scene would have been had on the ground that would have somewhat overshadowed what was going on in the air.  I could still stroke out just looking at the pictures.

One thing I loved.  Jacob is my bff Kim’s son and I adore him like he’s my own.  I’ve told him for years God has assured me he will one day be a preacher.  God hasn’t told Jacob this yet but that is irrelevant.  Jacob got on the phone to tell me while they were stuck he turned to the other kids and asked, “Does anyone want to ask Jesus to be their Lord and Savior?”  Yes and Amen.  We have biker churches.  We have skateboard churches.  We have cowboy churches.  I see nothing wrong with Jacob being the pastor of the first roller coaster church.  I predict a high conversion rate.  Very high.

The folks at Six Flags gave the kids meal vouchers and free fast passes for the rest of the day.  You know, I guess that’s fine but I’m thinking FREE EVERYTHING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE wouldn’t be enough to cover the therapy bills.

Alas, Six Flags wasn’t feeling that generous but the kids did get to see someone who does get the celebrity treatment – Evander Holyfield!  (Yes, it was definitely him.  They checked the ear.)

No Mr. Holyfield, our kids weren’t stalking you here.

Just a coincidental meeting.

Who’s guarding whom? Evander is much more intimidating than Amusement Park Cop.

The Gang.  I’m so happy everyone is on the ground.  And I love y’all, Man.


The End.