Trying to Find the Words
I only have a few minutes to say hello and for the past several months that meant I would just avoid writing altogether. Couple lack of time with lack of internet and the blog has suffered from great neglect. Even though I grieved the lack of communication with you, I have to confess a sense of relief to have a break from forcing content out of a boring day or of using what few minutes were unfilled to form coherent sentences out of disconnected thoughts.
So many of the things that have taken up the better part of my thought processes for the past year are not for public consumption. I’m not good at compartmentalizing because it feels like I’m faking it so finding a blogging balance has been very difficult. For that reason and many others, I came to a crossroads where I wonder if perhaps the blog has run its course. I asked the Lord to show me if I should continue, and if so, to give me fresh passion for the words, the work, and the ministry of encouragement I hope to offer for those of you who are kind enough to still stop by from time to time. Over the past few weeks I’ve been trying to write on a more regular basis both on the site and off. Sometimes we have to do something before we feel something and it turns out, I still very much love writing here and connecting with ministry wives and lay people alike. The Lord has also opened the door for an exciting partnership the details of which I will be sharing with you in the near future. While those details fall into place I’m trying to find my way home again. I guess that makes me a blog prodigal.
One of my SSMT memory verses for this year is “Therefore, preparing your minds for action and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be given to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:13) I first memorized it because I had set my hope fully on something other than Him and this verse reminded me life wouldn’t be over if the rug was pulled out from under me. But now, the first portion of that verse has become so very important to me. I desire a mind awake and for me that must include forcing coherency and specificity through writing things out. When I don’t, my thoughts become vague and it becomes harder and harder to communicate in every way. Maybe that means I am officially codependent upon my blog. Maybe it means I am losing my mind. Maybe that means I miss you.
Maybe it means all three.
Many words are hard to find but ones that come easily are thank you. Thank you for always being a sisterhood of women who are there encouraging when days are hard, understanding when days are consumed, and constant when the Wayward One tries her best to jump back in. I’m looking forward to returning your visits, rekindling some dear friendships and forming some new ones.
Y’all are the best.
p.s. It seems my blog feed has been broken for some time. If you wish to receive email updates, you can request those now in the right sidebar.
I can relate to your words. Glad you are back.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 6:06 pm
Thanks, Indy. Enjoyed your blog!
As a fellow pastor’s wife, I completely understand every word of this one! I started a blog earlier this year – looking for a creative outlet and perhaps a new way to minister – and have struggled in the last 6 months to write anything. It’s humbling to be faced with “blah-ness”. Just know that I LOVE reading your blog – and appreciate your humor and your heart! Thanks for searching for His will and inspiring me to keep at it as well. . .
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Thank you so much Karen. I’m glad to know I’m not alone. :)
Well we miss you too. Anytime you want to post please do so but give yourself permission for a break too. Who created these rules anyway? LOL
I think too often we work to please others instead of God. What does HE want you to do?
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I have no idea where the ‘rules’ came from! Most of them are self imposed..haha
I’m glad you’re back, you were missed a lot!
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 9:09 pm
Thank you, Larissa.
I enjoy reading your blog. Loved the entry about the roller coaster! Love the young evangelist that asked the kids if they wanted to ask Christ into their hearts. Be encouraged that you are blessing my heart each time I read your blog.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 9:10 pm
You are precious and I am encouraged…thank you, Sue :)
Darling girl — you KNOW I love you whether you ever write another bloggy word!! But I’m thrilled for me (and all of the girls out here in bloggy world) that you’re back around. Write as much or as little as the Lord leads. You are a gift and I love reading your words!!!
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 21st, 2011 at 6:28 am
I love you Mary, Mary. Like crazy. :)
“forming coherent sentences out of disconnected thoughts”… i have been like that for the past 6 months. i am thankful that you will continue to write and trust that God will give you the right words at the right time. there are definitely lessons learned while developing the skill of silence, even if that silence is only on the internet.
Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife Reply:
October 21st, 2011 at 6:29 am
Amen sister!
Lisa, we’ve never met, and I doubt we will this side of heaven, but you were one of my favorite discoveries of 2010. I love the mix of funny and meatiness of your blog. Thankful that you’ve pulled back the veil so we can see how you’re processing life. Thanks for being willing to let God use you — making us laugh while the truths you speak point us straight to Jesus. So thankful for you!