He’s a Smooth Operator

Monday morning Luke and I were talking about our plans for the day and figured out both of us were headed to Chattanooga. He needed to make a hospital visit and I needed to have a manicure and go to the mall. As usual, his goals were much “higher” and “loftier” and more “spiritually significant” than mine. He would make me gag if he weren’t so darned cute.

We met in the home department of JcPenney where I was in the full throes of a bedding selection meltdown. The boys’ comforters are pitiful and they are overdue replacement.  Since JCP was having a great sale and I had a 20% off coupon to boot, I was trying my best to find something there even though I wasn’t totally in love with anything I was seeing. I’ve told y’all before that Luke is the one man on the planet who actually cares what I buy for the house and who also thinks you should be able to find that for $15 or less. His yard sale mentality + my inability to make decisions = drama in the pillow aisle.

We decided to run to Dillard’s and Belk just to be certain they didn’t have anything I liked better and I was able to arrive at the same conclusion I have numerous times in the past. It’s not that I can’t find things I love. I just can’t afford the things I love. And again the same strategy that I used in finding a pair of boots also worked with the bedding. I showed Luke the ridiculously expensive sets I adored and suddenly he was grateful to pay the JcPenney price for the ones I can live with.

Even though there was a point while we were shopping that I was thinking Luke really needed to find another hospital to visit via the ER, I was grateful I had him at checkout.  Mostly because he had the money but also because he is a hard core negotiator.  It turns out my coupon that expired that day was for online orders only.  When the clerk made me aware of this, I probably would have caved and paid the difference.  But Luke McKay who is an American Picker wannabe and finds his most prize possessions on roadsides?  Oh no.  That will not do.  He politely told the girl he just wasn’t willing to pay the extra 20% and would you like to know what she did?  She batted her eyelashes at him and gave him the discount!  For the first time in our married life I am considering taking him Black Friday shopping and using what his mother gave me to see what he can accomplish in those long lines of rabid women at The Walmart.  Of which I am one.

After we checked out, we carried the comforters to his truck and he drove me to my car on the other side of the mall.  Since his vehicle was full he said, “I can’t fit the kids in here so why don’t you run on home and get them while I look around a little bit longer.”  I was so grateful to have that experience behind us that it never even occurred to me until I was on the interstate that my husband had sent me home to get the kids so he could stay in the city and shop.  That same sweet face that had suckered the JCP clerk had just Jedi’d me.  Which is why I’m at home playing on the computer while he is still shopping.  In Chattanooga.  While I’m not.  Something is definitely wrong with this picture.

My consolation will come if I learn he used those powers of persuasion to find me an awesome Christmas present.

Since I danced on the subject, let me go ahead and ask…..  Who’s going Black Friday shopping??!