Help for the Forlorn of Hair

Okay ya’ll…I need help with my Sheep Dog hair..No I do not have a sheep dog. I am the sheep dog. See, my hair is kinda curly at the base and frizzy/swollen at the ends. Not curly enough to be curly but too wavy to be straight without serious intervention. Let me be clear that in the 80’s when spiral perms were in, my hair Rocked. It was BIG hair and I had it goin’ on. But when perms went out, so did my ‘do’ and I haven’t know what to ‘do’ ever since.

For one terrible thing, air drying is not an option for me. If you are one of those cute girls that can go to the beach or be in a hurry after a shower and simply let your hair blow free in the breeze to smooth perfection, well I just really don’t like you. I learned this was not a possibility for me after a trip to Six Flags as a teenager…No one told me I would be getting soaked to the bone on the very first ride so for the next 10 hours of the 100 degree Hades of Six Flags I walked around with an air-dried poof on my head with absolutely no banana clip(my fave 80’s hair accessory) in site! Talk about the walk of shame…uggh..Mark that down as one of the worst 10 days of my life.

So I’ve learned I can never, ever be in a situation where I can not either re-wet, have a ball hat and pony tail holder available, or blow dry immediately. I say immediately because if my hair gets too dry, I must start all over with a freshly wet head. You have no idea how much experimentation, trial and error has had to happen to perfect the process of getting this mane to lie down and behave. My family understands this…No one, NO ONE, messes with momma before the hair is dry. What they also understand is my deep, abiding affection for my round brush which I must use for the full 20 minutes of sectioned blowdrying. So two huge rules at my house?? You don’t mess with momma with wet hair and you don’t touch The Brush.

It isn’t over with the drying…At this point, I must allow the hair to cool completely before the straightening begins. This is only accomplished by pulling it up in a clippy and combing out very small sections to burn into submission. Did you know hair can scream?? Oh yeah honey, it can. I’ve heard it. Anyway, the last step is to use velcro rollers in the top to give the crown that added bounce I’ve tried so hard to flatten out. No wonder I’m worn out by the time I’m ready to go anywhere!

I’m telling you all of this to say that I need a new hair gel, cream, pomade, something that will help in my quest for smoothness. I have tried lately: Big Sexy super smoothing gel, Matrix smoothing gel and neither one of them are doing it for me…My hair is still swollen and believe it or not…it really isn’t dry, it is just fat. That is it…I have fat hair.

So if you understand at all what I am talking about or have found a product that works for you…would you tell me what it is?? Thanks in advance, I just know you’ll come through for me, girls! :)

Better yet, do you have any hair dilemmas the sistahood could help you with?? Let’s just get it all out girls…it’ll free you…really.