I’m taking a break from the last Great Sock Folding of ’07 to say ‘hi’ because I’m about to lose my ever-loving mind over all the mismatches. I hate pairing socks with the white hot heat of a thousand suns therefore it only happens infrequently at best. Oh how I miss Summer and her flip flops.
Though I’m not officially on a blog break, the need to re-organize my house to accommodate an obscene amount of Christmas gifts has prevented me from spending hours with my new love. I’m thinking I should name it, but I haven’t decided if it’s a boy or girl. I lean towards a boy simply because I find myself wanting to name anything that is currently nameless Lewis in honor of my beloved, brilliant C.S. Lewis. I have no idea how he’d feel about having a computer named after him, but something tells me were he alive today the words ‘restraining order’ may cross his mind. And can you even imagine if he had a blog? Can you say “comment rejected”?
Oh well – I digress though my laptop does play in to the point of my writing. I wasn’t able to adequately express how overcome I was by this gift from Luke earlier because there just wasn’t time. I only have a couple minutes still, so prepare for randomness void of any eloquence..
I still have no idea how Luke managed to pull this off. I don’t know where he got the money. He only assures me “It’s paid for!”. I only have faint details on all he did to get it ordered on time and still keep the secret. What I can tell you is the surprise birthday party I gave him Sunday night pales in comparison to the forethought and lavishness of his gift to me and I am still overwhelmed at it all.
You see, it’s not the fact Luke did this that really gets to me but rather the reason he gave for why. After I cried a thousand tears when he and the kids made their grand presentation, he said to me, “I believe God has plans for your writing and a writer needs a good computer…”
And my first response? I’m no writer! And do you know why I think that? Perhaps for the same reason many of you think it. It’s not my living. I’ve not written a book. I’ve not been validated by man.
And there lies the heart of it. Why do we look to man to give us our title when the God of the Universe calls us, “Mine”? If we were to become what we believe, what would we look like? Would our faith make us whole like the blind men of the gospels or would we be bowed low spiritually decrepit from the weight of our doubt? I personally love how God sees our potential beyond our present day reality. “Greetings, mighty warrior”, He said to Gideon before he’d ever picked up a sword. “You will be a father of nations”, God told Abraham before he’d ever had his first son. These words aptly spoken were a promise of things to come. A righteous confidence bestowed on those who did not yet have any reason to believe the prophetic words could ever be true. Sometimes we just need to know someone believes in us in order to rise to the occasion.
And you know what?
I will never get over being grateful for a God who is faithful when I am faithless. Who knows my inmost places and loves me anyway. Who gave me a family I don’t deserve who believes in and supports the work God has called me to. I don’t know what that looks like right now or how exactly it will manifest itself next week or next year. All I do know is that He has my yes again and again.
So thank you, Luke. For believing in what I can’t always see. And thank you, God, for orchestrating my hope and future.
And as 2007 comes to a close I especially want to thank you girls for even giving me the time of day. For reading, for commenting, and being what I consider very real friends. This has been one of the most eventful ministry years of my life and you are very much responsible.
My goodness, I do love you dearly!
P.S. Okay….that’s enough of the mushy stuff :)
In totally unrelated news, my mother got this washer/dryer combo for Christmas. It has aroused a level of covetousness in me that may border on unpardonable.
Because I have nothing to be grateful for, ya know….