Can Someone Turn Off The Snot Waterworks?

I’ve been recapping the So Long, Self Retreat in my mind and I really do want to share with you how much fun we had, how much we ate, and how God spoke but frankly, my thoughts are pickled in snot.

This may not be my most delicate post to date.

It seems the sickness that can only be referred to as The Crud has invaded my head. It started with a throat tickle and slightly sore face on Thursday and by Friday exploded into full misery. Sometime in the wee hours of Friday morning I woke up and for the life of me could not figure out why my entire face seemed wet. After I determined the feeling was both wet and slimy it became clear it was no fever that had broken but rather the mucus glands in my nose. I kid you not, there was snot from my forehead to my chin. Have you seen Lord of the Rings when the Orcs are birthed? Well, that’d be your visual for my face.

You’re welcome.

So I have to ask, is it just Alabama where everyone is so terribly sick? All the talk around here about new resistant strains of flu is kind of freaking me out if the truth be known. Can anyone say Stephen King’s ‘Stand’? Oh I know, of course you’ve never read his books but before I was born again, The Stand was totally my take on the end of the world. Now thanks to Tom Cruise, it’s lookin’ like we’ll be abducted by aliens rather than raptured through a superflu where our necks and heads turn black and swell to the size of watermelons. Of course, I’d rather be dead than have an extra-terrestrial hold my eyes open while they stick foot long needles through my retina. (Can’t remember the name of that movie – anyone have any idea what I’m talking about or did I lose you at hello?)

If you are still reading, it’s obvious the meds are having an effect on the brainwaves ’round here. I’m certain I’ll read this post later and have no recollection of having actually written it. If it mysteriously disappears you’ll know I came to my senses and hit Save as Draft as quickly as possible.

I hope you are well and having a fabulous day.

I’m going to go blow my nose now.