…..but it would explain why some of the most ridiculous things happen to me.
So yesterday afternoon I was taking my oldest son to baseball practice. I had him, Boy 2, and The Girl in the car with me. On the way to the field, I decided I could not live one more second without a bag of sour gummy worms. I’m telling y’all, I’m obsessed. Those things are so stinkin‘ good and I’m literally having to fight my sin nature not to eat a whole bag every day. Will you still love me if I tell you I had a Romans 7 breakdown? (BTW, being the gummy worm connoisseur that I am, I feel obligated to let you know these are not as good as these.)
Boy 2 loves to act like a nerdy dork for fun so before I ran in the store he said (in his best Pee Wee Herman voice), “Mom, would you please buy me some moist towelettes?” And because sarcasm is a love language in our house, I said, “You big sissy! What in the world does a boy need with a ‘moist towelette’? If you get your wittle, bitty hands dirty at the ball field we’ll spray you down with the water hose. Or swish them around in the toilet, whichever is closer.” We all laughed and I ran in to get my gummy worms.
While at the checkout I saw a man whose daughter comes to our church. I asked how she was, he told me she was out in the car, so I made a point to wave at her as I was leaving.
Okay, picture this. There was a car in between mine and hers and somehow when I waved my meshy-woven, beaded bracelet got caught in this car’s antenna. I don’t mean just a little caught. I mean my arm was fully stretched in the air, completely entangled, and would not come down. I started waving with my other arm hoping they won’t notice but yeah, whatever. The girl and her new step mom were laughing at me. My own kids were laughing at me. Somehow I managed to wrangle loose without breaking the antenna clean off this poor, unsuspecting vehicle. The car may have been safe, but my ego was SO not.
I finally got in the car and Boy 2 said, “Mom, you ever heard of karma? I guess you should have gotten me those moist towelettes.”
Ooooooh. Good one.
Clearly my padawan has been paying attention in class.
And my dear future daughter-in-law’s mom – if you are out there?
I apologize in advance.