They Pay Me to Stay Home

UPDATE: We won 42-7!
Luke just called from our high school football game. Our team has struggled this year and the local sports writers picked us to lose tonight by 3 touchdowns.

We are winning 21-0 at half-time.

And with that information, what was once a casual observation has now been confirmed as fact:

Good things happen when I stay home.

You may think I’m just saying that but, please, hear me out.

This all started a few months back when I noticed that anytime I was in Children’s Church or out of the Sunday morning service for some reason, people would just ooh and ahh over Luke’s sermon. I thought they were just being sweet since I wasn’t there, but no, I was assured Luke was ON FI-YAH moreso than usual.

And then, there was the Sunday I was in Texas. Our college class typically has 6-8 people on any given meeting. When I was gone, THERE WERE 13.

And now, I learn our football team – who I am an avid supporter of even if I don’ t understand a lick of what’s happening on the field – is winning by the same three touchdowns by which they were supposed to lose.

When I wasn’t there.

Which leads me to the conclusion:

I’m Hindering the Fire. I’m Quenching the Spirit. I’m Jinxing the Mojo.

I’m Staying Thee Home.

You’re Welcome.


P.S. As if I needed anymore confirmation, the girls just this minute ran into the room to ask me to come play the Wicked Witch.

Even the children have recognized my cursing skillz. (And no, I didn’t say cussing skillz. That would be another post entirely.)